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finding me - jed kim lyrics

[verse 1]
not really sure what i need
still feeling like i’m 18
but i’m suddenly out of time and i graduate in spring
a bunch of my homies already stackin the green
while i can barely sit down and study infatuated with beats
still no confidence in my voice or my future path
scared of being poor, scared of being flush with cash
don’t want to be a n0body, a loser, addicted to crack
and i don’t want everybody to know my private life or leak my tracks

and i know, that that’s far away
those are only some possibilities, not fate
but i keep making excuses, forget faith
even though these scenarios i think about are all fake
and i know they ain’t real, but it’s hard to escape
i think i know it all, while i’m taking the bait
and i’m only losing time while i’m eating my cake
it’s time to move on, to a better state

[hook]
i’m finding me
don’t know what i need
puffing on the green
will my dreams stay dreams
and i’m finding me
not really sure what i need
will my dreams stay dreams

[verse 2]
but it took a long time just to get here
so many days spent imprisoned by my worst fears
and those days quickly turned into a full year
slowly i could not see what was once clear
as my vision receded from looking out in the world
i kept growing more selfish, i was caught in the swirl
of emotions that i never thought i would see before
nothing could stop my mr. hyde being born, as he grew bigger
i could not keep up
he kept winning every battle so i just gave up
and to drown out his voice inside
i smoked cigs with liquor in a bottomless cup
as poison entered my stomach it made its way to my brain
while i convinced myself that the tar in my lungs was keeping me sane
i believed all the lies that i was never to blame
i was nothing but a p*wn in my own sick twisted game

[verse 3]
everyone become old someday but for me that’s not today
so why give mind to what other people say that’s not ok
just lay some tracks and strain my back put in work and don’t complain
’cause time moves fast, right now and past, focus on my day to day
everyone become old someday but for me that’s not today
so why give mind to what other people say that’s not ok
just lay some tracks and strain my back put in work and don’t complain
’cause time moves fast, right now and past, focus on my day to day

and i’m still a child, still growing up, i was never into the know
i’m seeing how, i’m messing up, not really sure where to go
i was so arrogant, just acting tough, break down at the smallest of woe
still held by hand, every time it’s rough, mommy still blowing my nose

- jed kim lyrics

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