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statistic - jay xen lyrics

guess we both knew that it’d come to this
i know you trying now, but you couldn’t run from this
way you acting, like you really kinda wanted this
there’s some pain that i still have i thought i won’t admit
why’d you leave when i was 2?
why’d you do this sh*t to me
the twins, and most your children too?
feel the need to spread your seed
leave, and come back like we cool?
you were gone for 9 years
and then you came up out the blue
the f*ck is wrong wit you
i thought you’d be the first to know
how it feels to have no father
traumatized and so alone
get abused by grandparents
hear em sh*t talk on the low
shoulder feeling like a burden
and you’re always on your own
was experiencing this
not enough to see the damage?
or did you jump through hoops
to somehow figure we could manage?
we were starving for a father
but you left us in a famine
i don’t care about the present
you’ve got sh*t to re*examine
like the fact that you abused the twins
threatened me and hate your son
because of “how he lives”
on my mama, you can’t bear to even see us win
at this point
just admit you never gave a sh*t
someone call up tlc
this n*gga 15 kids and counting
justifies with “young and dumb”
the deflection so astounding
but he wanna be here now
ight, i’ll give him that
either way you cut it
i still ponder if i even want you around me
tried to force me in the military
told him no
but he prolly need a dictionary
you the reason why with family
my reaction varies
i’m ashamed to have your blood flow
through my capillaries
that’s the weight i carry
but i doubt you even care
you too focused on yo sh*t
to even see how well i fair
see you k!ll yourself wit smoking
i can’t even help but stare
cause you f*cked up just that bad
you wanna poison yo own air
lord knows how much i thought i hated you
so many years you missed
but nonetheless i made it through
i despised my main abuser
for defaming you
but me and mama know
just how much he’s the same to you
look
you my father
the more i got to know you
the more i got perspective
though that don’t excuse your actions
i’ll respect the new objective
i’ll give you what’s been due
and stop moving like a skeptic
cause you my father
and i know you meant the best sh*t

- jay xen lyrics

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