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with a pen. - jay solitaire lyrics

[verse: jay solitaire]
when i write, i write so i can sleep at night
and who knows, one day it might make my future bright
i want my life right, but i don’t know what right is
right now it just seems so confusing as to what life is
how good do i describe it? i honestly don’t know
irony i can’t eat bread, still want to eat some dough
bridging those beats and flows, and those books and films
all of ’em need a writer who makes them all heat in kilns
i can’t see me with mills, i know people worth a milli
but money isn’t magic, to dream you’re regina’s silly
does that stop those thoughts pervading, invading my mind?
does it matter? still young, i’ll mature in due time
for now, sixteen times two from a guy with sh-t to prove
can’t speak nothing written, improv he’s always smooth
get into the groove, you’re like a virgin to my madonna raps
reality v. fantasy, i lie borderline ‘cross the honest batch
conflicting convictions, break down every breakdown
across a breakdown, god d-mn give it a break now
you’re making yourself sound crazy, you’re terrified of mistakes now
you’re getting into a state now, so what more can i say now
we don’t need another jay wow, we don’t need similar ways now
we need a young god of may now, not so many raps about pay now
we need a someone young age now, who’s still fazed now
i don’t need you to see me and lay down, i want you amazed, i want you to say “how?”
this is for those told at start they were stupidly smart
forced to follow stupid, thoughts forbidden from heart
only opinions a-la-carte, thoughts conform to thought
words contort for support, independence so hard-fought
but i’m not there yet, though the ball up in my court
success is shangri-la, it’s something stupid i’ve sought
it can’t be bought, no school will try to see it be taught
cos it can’t be defined, at least the search one ups naught
it’s my port…

- jay solitaire lyrics

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