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memos - jay rain (rapper) lyrics

[verse 1]
there’s something inside of me tryna tear me down
i’ve been fighting this battle since cattle but i’m ‘bout to drown
i’ve been tryna live underwater but bubbles poppin’ out of my mouth
now the clouds, light and skies are up in my mind
i feel an urge like i’d rather die than live in this for the rest of time
but i got family, friends who are the best, man, i can’t forget
but man, i need some rest, i’ve been up in this head tryna protest
i’ve been tryna protect myself from the threats and guеss
who can’t get out of this head?
he’s gеtting upset and he’s stayin in bed instead of getting ‘em met
the people around him, he’s drowning and doubtin’ himself
in and out of himself, thinkin’ ‘bout his lack of wealth
thinkin’ ‘bout his lack of mental health
mental cell is also meant for self*reflection
you’re forgettin’ how yourself never been lettin’ insecurity go
that’s why security’s home
cause out there, you’re scared
that’s why you never dare socializing with strangers
without a bit of alcohol down the drain, it’s somber
you’re livin’ most of your live alone, you’re a goner
spending most of your time in the darkest corners

[break]
i sat up all night cryin’, i don’t know why
i think i’m f*cked up in my mind, it’s gone all awry
what’my gonna do to try and change my sight?
it’s nothing but doubt, regret and lots of fights
yeah, fights with myself now
i’ve been gettin’ drunk and i’ve been a let down
to myself, to my friends
i can’t remember the last four parties, man it’s been
[verse 2]
ever since i thought i died i’ve repeated lines
repeating same thoughts to make sure i
understand and have opinions
i think i’m gettin’ dumber, man it’s f*ckin’ ringin’
like a f*cking echo that i’ll never let go
pass me that presecco, i’m makin’ all these memos
am i f*cked? guess so, i need to f*cking bellow
don’t care ‘bout my numero, man, i’m just a fellow
man, i’m just a fellow
man, i’m just a* yeah
that’s why i’m finally letting go of all these memos
i’ve written over 800 songs, don’t want no pedro
don’t want it to release when it’s the last of me
i need to release some, might be a catastrophe
but it’s me
and sh*t it’s real, authentic
i don’t rap to be kendrick
i don’t rap to be cole
i don’t rap to be a central part of the globe
no, i rap cause i’m cold
and when i rap i feel the heat ignite inside of me
and i finally take control of anxiety
which takes control of my ship like it’s motherf*cking piracy
which causes me to need some f*cking privacy
so kindly, f*ck you
what has stopped me from releasing music?
just you

- jay rain rapper lyrics

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