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trying - jay honest lyrics

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intro:

can somebody help me
lately my mind ain’t been healthy
yeah

i wander i’m empty
i’m wondering when is my ending
yeah

…

~can’t take it no more~

v1:
i’m trying my best
lately inside of my head is a mess
i don’t care to flex anymore
i dream about you showing up at my door

been close to my suicide
i cannot describe the things that i see inside
my demons don’t wanna hide
they come out and play when they notice its night time

all i can see is you
i can’t only think of you
lotta think of myself
bet i’m holding on
to the only bit of happiness i have left

i’m praying to god
for 7 years straight he ain’t answer my prayers

i’m praying to god
i’m starting to think that no one is there

0:50
suffered a sentence
repent and repent
i’m searching for god but the devil is ready
i walk with the weight of the world and it’s heavy
all on my shoulder the pressure is deadly

i got 3 kids i don’t get to see one of em
i got this passion i think i should run from
& i tried to take my life wish that the job was done
steadily screaming out wish i could see my son

what have you done
is he okay
look at his face
see all the pain
look deep inside
look when he cries
look what you do to him all of the time
i just wanna be close
i’m missing my son
i miss him the most
the pain in my heart
it steadily grows
i’m losing my mind
but gripping on hope
everyday

v2:

feel the pain everyday
all in my heart
my head and it aches
filled with anxiety loaded with angst

bet that he’s wishing he could see his dad
i know the feeling its all that i have
i been trying and trying
but i feel like i’m losing
the battle is harder these women are foolish

was there from day 1
& now i feel stupid
i’m hating on love kick the f*ck outta cupid
been played and been cheated swear feelings are useless
i don’t know how much longer i can do this
when will we learn
when will we try
to give our kids the best in their lives
selfishness causing these parents to split up
force em apart til the option is, give up

i really love you i’m trying to be better
lately i been feeling under the weather
but really there ain’t no excuse for my actions
i’m sorry i did it and sorry it happened

a f*ck up i am
or what i can be
i’m sorry again i ain’t trynna’ be mean
married a girl, the one she my queen
i need to be better for her and for me

i want to feel better for once in my life
she makes me feel like i’m coming alive
lift me up
and starting to fly
an angel i’m seeing right thru her disguise

you help me when i feel i want to die
you help me girl i need you by my side
you help me girl i need you don’t know why
you help me so i’ll help you til i die

- jay honest lyrics

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