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never existed - javelin lyrics

[verse 1]
it was a cold winter in more ways than one, i skipped dinners, caught tempers & went to nick’las to get me some, ascending from above to tempt me was a dove with olive branch extended, didn’t have it in me to get off the fence & clench it, i shoulda kissed her when i went to feed the fishes, shoulda missed her but i didn’t, shoulda sank with the tanker, down with the ship & in it a fate as f*cked as can be, thankfully it’s at the bottom of the atlantic
dangerously in a panic, i dismantle, my time has arrived, can a mind suffer this psych spike twice?, what a handful, this family was led by a d*mn fool who let the vanity come in the way of the man’s role
tantalized by panther eyes, plan banished by a wolf in some attire that’s similar to a lamb, too kind for my own good but at the same time crazy as all get out, y’all spit out simple sh*t, i get deep as the deepest pits of my sh*t now, i attempted, yes i did, slit wrists & sipped wine taking celexa 2 at a time & once i even tried to drink until i shut my eyes while i was f*cking driving, dozing off, my last goodbye & i’ll be flying, hallelujah by & by until i hear the angels crying, that’s word to domo, can y’all go & spread my story now that i’m dead?, if god is sitting on a throne then who’s here watching over things we never said?, veins that were never spread but still pain from the legal meds, you can get addies & gabapentin, risperidone & lamictal & used to be i had a prescription to klonopin, popped em often, under tongue led to cottonmouth like a serpent, doubt you can discern this, i was always one to make words fit, even if they were senseless..
b*tches..

[verse 2]
i don’t have a plan b cuz my plan a is to fade away after the day breaks & you say “we’re through”, but i kept the flame & pain, reflect em both in music, toothless dude’s sl!ck, rubik’s cube when he loses himself in the tune, loony bin loser in looping spins from abusing too many mutagens
matrices are aligning, forsaken rhymes are being rhymed by the guy sitting in silence for days tryna meditate but violence politics & crime are on the rise or maybe i just never see it cuz i’m blind to everything, i’ve medicated in the darkest places, let a man take life & stared him in the face & never did a thing, sh*t..
never kidding mayne, not when i get to spitting flame about how life’s a game & if you’d like to entertain your ideas of horror come & get the torture behind my forehead, you’re dead on the inside?..
i’m dead like i..
never existed..

- javelin lyrics

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