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maestus - jascr lyrics

maestus lyrics
[intro]
i stay emotional
i really do
but i do my best to hide these emotions from you
i stay emotional
i really do
but i do my best to hide these emotions from you
and it’s time to let them through

[verse 1]
i hate myself
i mess up and get everything wrong
i wish i could be somebody else
because then, i wouldn’t write this song
i still remembered all the times i missed the answer
even when my classmatеs forgot
i wish i was smarter and i paid attention bettеr
so i wouldn’t give those times any thought
i tell folks i’m fine, but the thought of suicide has crossed my mind these past five years
for real, i don’t wanna be here
and i wanna make that unmistakably clear
‘cause i’m ugly as heck, i hate my neck
i’ve been losing all sorts of self*respect
because of my peers and folks that hate me
and all that stuff is really starting to change me
i’m a pacifist, because i’m weak
i let folks walk all over me
i’m careful with everything i say, in case they might just ghost me and leave
it’s gotten to the point where i like being sad (and it bugs me, and it bugs me)
i wallow in self*pity for as long as i can (i don’t love me, i don’t love me)
i’m desperate for love, i want it so bad
it seems like the only thing i never have
but i can’t love anyone else
until i love myself
[chorus]
i stay emotional
i really do
but i do my best to hide these emotions from you
i stay emotional
i really do
but i do my best to hide these emotions from you
and it’s time to let them through

[verse 2]
i kinda miss the old me
spending time in my room, feeling lonely
the fascination i have’s taking control of me
and i just really want somebody to hold me
i don’t vape, drink or think that weed’s fun
when i get sad, i just carve into tree trunks
i might bleed some, but i won’t be dumb
i’ll just put on my long sleeves, son
i already might not thrive ’cause of my skin color
and i’m choosing not to be here? that’s a bummer
i got a roof for the weather that’s over my head
and dude, i still think that i’d be better off dead
attempt after attempt, i’m still here
every time i get close, man, i feel fear
maybe i should stay here
but until then?
[chorus]
i stay emotional
i really do
but i do my best to hide these emotions from you
i stay emotional
i really do
but i do my best to hide these emotions from you
and it’s time to let them through

[refrain]
i can’t love anyone else
until i love myself
until i love myself
until i love myself

[outro]
you know, it wasn’t always like this

- jascr lyrics

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