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won't guy - jar (satire) lyrics

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[verse 1]
wish i was a stone so i couldn’t feel
you’d yell in my face, it’d be no big deal
but i’d miss the way we make up and smile
don’t wanna be stone, i changed my mind

[verse 2]
i wish i had eyes in the back of my head
then i could see the places i’ve been
but then i would know that you’re talkin’ sh*t
i don’t wanna know what my friends think

[verse 3]
wish i were my dog out on the lawn
i’d be so glad when i hear you come home
but if i were my dog, i wouldn’t live long
i’m sure gonna miss her when she’s gone

[verse 4]
i wish i could act in a show on tv
’cause then i could practice not bеin’ me
i’ll practice my cry, put it into my reel
but you won’t beliеve me when i cry for real

[verse 5]
i wish that my brain would triple in size
i’d nail every joke, i’d win every fight
but i’d get too deep with that kind of mind
i don’t wanna know the point of life
[verse 6]
in some other life, i would be rich
i’d travel in style, i’d cover the bill
but couldn’t complain ’bout anything small
n0body’d feel bad for me at all

[verse 7]
if i was cocaine or a bottle of jack
i’d get invited to every frat
but when you get old and your good days are passed
you’ll only want me when you’re sad

[verse 8]
wish i was a song, your favorite one
you’d follow the dance to me at your prom
i would be there when your baby is born
for two or three minutes, then i’m gone

[verse 9]
i wish i was big, as big as my house
i’d sleep on the trees, i’d skip every crowd
but i wouldn’t fit on my therapist’s couch
god, i could really use him now

[verse 10]
i wish i was god, i’d never trip up
and if i did, well, so f*ckin’ what?
i could be cruel and break all your stuff
yeah, i’d be loved no matter what
[verse 11]
but if i was god, it’d get kinda weird
’cause you would only say what i wanna hear
and then you would die, you’d love me to death
i’d never know who the h*ll i am

[verse 12]
i wish i was me, whoever that is
i could just be and not give a sh*t
hey, i’ll be whatever makes you a fan
’cause i don’t know who the h*ll i am

[outro]
one, two, pandemonium
one, two, pandemonium
here i go again
one, two, pandemonium
here i go again
one, two, pandemonium
here i go again

- jar satire lyrics

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