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self medicated - jake darus lyrics

difficult to understand why i really overdosed
currently, don’t have all the reasons but i’m coming close
felt so much uncertainty, couldn’t get away from it
demons here eternally, everyday i hated it
i told the doctors that it wasn’t out of suicide
wanted to escape the pain that made me scarred and traumatized
all of the rejection from wanting your attention
i just wanted someone in my life i could connect with
all my imperfections gave me a perception
i had to be perfect every day and every second
i became obsessed with results and achievements
when they weren’t possessed i would have some disagreements
i was always worried how the people would perceive me
look into the mirror just to see if i was breathing
plenty blemishes and imperfections in my life
they would keep me up at night, it’s when i said alright

mentally i was going insane
everyday life was a hurricane
comfort came when i self medicated
substances would take away the pain

another reason why is i’m addicted to attention
craving validation cause i had so many questions
people couldn’t answer anxiety’s a cancer
eats away coherence turns your mind to a disaster
really put a purpose on impressing individuals
didn’t even care that all my methods were so cynical
wanted the respect of friends in person on the internet
i would try to gain it quick by giving into their demands
caught up in the bad lands didn’t have a comrade
me myself and i beside my demons it was unplanned
didn’t care what anybody thought at the time
i just needed reconfiguration of my mind
and i needed to evade and run away from everything
i really thought the drugs would give me all the better things
a sense of euphoria, permanent elation
it was temporary i continued medicating went to

mentally i was going insane
everyday life was a hurricane
comfort came when i self medicated
substances would take away the pain

now i have the coping mechanisms use em everyday
talking to my doctors and they’re listening to what i say
i don’t trust myself with isolation and depression
so i talk to someone and that person is a blessing
now i have the coping mechanisms use em every night
taking my effexors and they really make me feel alright
i don’t feel the pressure and the mental pain i used to
really overcame it all i tightened up the loose screw

mentally i was going insane
everyday life was a hurricane
comfort came when i self medicated
substances would take away the pain

- jake darus lyrics

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