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i kidnapped willie nelson - jack shields lyrics

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well i’d used up all my favors
pestered all my friends
had no one left to torture with my sh*tty songs again

so i kidnapped willie nelson
at an austin honky tonk
laid him out with an epiphone and i stuffed him in my trunk

yea i kidnapped willie nelson
so he’d listen to my song
didn’t mean to hurt him but he should have sang along

yea i kidnapped willie nelson
guess he’s got bad luck
never shoulda told me that my masterpiece did suck

we’ll we stayed up all night drinking
i played the song on loop
poked him with a cattle prod but hе wouldn’t change his tune

so i raised my hand to strikе a blow
that’d really make him ring
when all to my astonishment the man began to sing

yea i kidnapped willie nelson
and he listened to my song
he must have really liked it cuz he danced and sang along
yea i kidnapped willie nelson
what a thing to steal
says if i release him he will give me a record deal

who knew an old mans femur
would be my lucky break
i’ll say he heard my song one day and things just up and changed
i’ll buy myself a pardon
and he’ll sign an nda
so i get paid

well the sun began to rear its head
and we’d smoked up all the tree
so i asked him for some last advice before i set him free

he said son your tune it ain’t half bad
but the words are kinda dumb
quit tryna be a cowboy you ain’t foolin anyone

yea i strangled willie nelson
cuz he criticized my song
shame he went and blew it man i thought we’d get along

yea i strangled willie nelson
good things never last
wrapped him up and tossed him down the well with johnny cash
johnny cash

- jack shields lyrics

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