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a neighborhood - jac starling lyrics

[chorus 1]
up keep the neighborhood
but i really wanna fight, wanna fight
i up keep the neighborhood
didn’t know it so i lock it tight
i lock it tight, tight

[pre*verse]
my head, my head go in circles
recycling is in the back
if the all doors remain enacted
my head deflates when all the air go stale
and i pass on like i want to
going purple, purple

[verse 1]
as soon as i get shot cause i’m a public figure
but i can’t figure that out cause i don’t go out in public
as soon as i show myself to all the winners
i can pay for my family to get some dinner
introvert inside wanna extrovert outside
pier out the window at my peers, but i commit suicide
i’m out the sewers, martha stewart
only way out
gotta go through some sh*t to get the 9 cloud
mask it on, golden globe clout
grad cap it on
read my bio for about
[bridge]
trapped in a sp*cey coffin
i can’t breathe but still feel the oxygen
slight meadow breeze on a monday morning
then it started pouring
got out the rain
lock the door behind me cause i didn’t feel the same
damp but not underwater

[verse 2]
if i was successful as much as my friends think i am
i would have made it by now but more promo for the gram
an addict for attention but away from all the people
wanna media cleanse but update all the fans
take a glance into my life
but no display, it’s my life
not yours, don’t wanna live it twice
it’s nice to be alone until you think and loan
all of your money, time, blood, and effort into a dream that is a joke
internet clown
was never the class clown
they all look down on me, and i understand now
i blame it on whatever i wanted to
ocd, depression, severe anxiety, or the shoes
i still think i’m fat after not eating for days
gotta leave the house to get more food but that’s ways away
i don’t like to leave the house because then i have to be seen
and i feel like everyone is looking directly at me
i did this to myself i pushed everyone away
and i’m not strong enough to bring them back, not today
or to meet new people
i can count the number of people i’m close with on one hand
one, two, and i’m not equal
try to surround myself with good people and fail every time
but when i get it right i run away cause there not my kind
too kind
i’m not important enough
i’ve never been the first choice
gotta be my fault
[chorus 2]
up keep the neighborhood
but i really wanna fight, fight
up keep the neighborhood in nowhere
locks open wide
locks open wide, tight

[verse 3]
what’s the point in opening up when they leave if you do
but if you don’t open up they leave cause your closed off and blue
9 times out of 10 i’m stuck inside my head
my fans think i’m pretty open but there’s lots i haven’t said
i’m afraid that i’ll be dead before i drop this
sometimes when i’m happy i wanna die to stay that way
i hate dropping music cause it’s all i love, my second half
so you can hate it, hate me but i market on my behalf
should i go out tonight and marketing myself or make music that won’t be heard
i guess we all want sometime we can’t have

- jac starling lyrics

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