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misconceptions of a man - j. gillie lyrics

[verse 1: j. gillie]
i said i reached my f-cking end
don’t know where i’m goin
putting all this in but the debt steady growing
watching rain drops pourin
where the f-ck is my umbrella?
swinging at these demons like the thrilla in manilla
but i got ko’d
now i’m on this lonely road contemplating
wonder why my momma and my daddy started hating?
baby momma up in the courts she’s debating
now the kid’s all her’s grabbed them up now shes skating
oh lord! what am i doing?
i see the devil clearly
we had a conversation and he says he f-cking feels me
but the thing that just k!lls me man i thought i was a strong christian
til these suicide thoughts switched up my position
now i’m on this road hope my swerves lead to death
apology letter forgot to f-cking write it, sh-t!
12 gauge and some buds all i’m riding with
i feel alone in this world even jesus left me
he said my feelings didn’t matter i was too pesky
so now i drive this f-cking car like a maniac
and try and get back to that place where he made me at
but that’s the same d-mn place that he framed me at
i was plagued with dark days and ill wills
bad dreams, od pills and cold chills
“ayo chill!” the advise from the homie
swear that we were best friends, but he ain’t really know me
cause he ain’t never show me a way up out this sorrow
never lent time so i couldn’t even borrow
so m-th-f-ck tomorrow hope the sun sets forever
and when it raise up don’t you dig my grave up
memories erased and a soul unscathed
hoping one day that he will be saved
he’s misunderstood
he’s tryna find a way
but the only person speaking fluent is the gun play..
but yet i reconsider
heart is feeling bitter
i was raised in the muck
but never raised to be a quitter
go find an outfitter who can sew a heart on a sleeve
got a n-gga feeling anxious like its christmas eve
cause we perceive everything to be okay
were telling them our problems they proceed to run away
i’m thinking to myself there has to be a better way
i guess it comes down to do i go or do i stay
or do i relay my message
flowing freely
while driving 85 eyes closed on this freeway
i’m peeking though
i hope i make the right decision
thinking with precision
for this ultimate collision
cause ain’t no coming back, jack that’s the way of life
and a wise man said you can’t live it twice
my doors ain’t the only thing thinking suicide
i should’ve been gone thank god for this foolish pride
father time is knocking i gotta make a choice
cause if i die now the demons will rejoice
but if i stay here my eyes forever feeling moist
my eyes forever feeling moist
is this really what i wanna do?
is this really where i wanna go?
f-ck this sh-t grab a gat and let your mind blow
[gunshot]

- j gillie lyrics

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