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exhale - j-formz lyrics

[chorus: breana marin & (j*formz)]
i’ve been tryin to run from my problems to keep another one from adding on
i feel so numb, i’m so far gone cause the collateral damage is done
just need to exhale (just breath, just breath)
i just need to exhale (i’m aight)
i just need to exhale (said we’re good, we’re good)
i just need to exhale (just breath)

[verse 1: j*formz]
i swear, it looked picture perfect, i seen a hero in my dad
we did everything, wanted to be the son he never had
until somebody passed, call him a real close friend
the wake came, the war started when i wouldn’t attend
and sh*t was never the same again, seein him stopped
’til one day, i found out why i ain’t seen him a lot
sneakin around on my mother, i’m just another little kid
of course i went and told mom about the things that he did
and then he leaves with her when she f*ckin wrecked my home!?
speak to this man if you want, i’ll be fine all alone
it’s been months, and no word until he wanna come back
scared to open that door again, i’m nervous that it’s a trap
swallowed pride, apologized, sh*t, i cried for days
he left the b*tch to come back to me, and he died on the way
never got to tell him why his friend commited suicide
he was molestin your daughter for over half of his life
i’m sorry…
[chorus: breana marin & (j*formz)]

[verse 2: j*formz]
it should’ve been an innocent moment out in front, by the swings
and then, he called me in for dinner, i remember everything
it’s so vivid in my brain, why it’s etched in my mind?
i see the living room couch, it’s flashbacks, every time
the incense burnin, like i could smell it in my nose
as if i’m still there now, i see my pink and purple clothes
and then, he turns to me: “i see you know how to kiss…
does your dad know what you did? what would he think about this?”
laid me down on the couch and started ticklin my arms
graduated to my belly, then, continued right on
i could still feel his hands goin down in my pants
it’s like i’m frozen in fear, i never even stood a chance
i’m only five years old, he looks me dead in the eye
and says: “you ever say a word, you’re whole family’ll die…”
but i put up a fight
threatened to tell me dad, and it’s sad, cause the next day, he went and took his own life
i’m sorry…

[chorus: breana marin & (j*formz)]

[verse 3: j*formz]
it was nothin but down hill, where to begin?
gettin abused in school, lyin, and tryin to fit in
i attracted old men even when i was a child
and the fear of it again has made me hate my own smile
her baby dad hit me sis while i was livin in the house
and cause i stood up for her, they went and kicked my ass out
then, i contracted a disease from bein homeless on the streets
it’s been a f*cked up road to live with ptsd
and still, i blame myself, shouldn’t have kissed that boy…
a child’s supposed to be innocent, guess i missed that joy
i feel angry, this is supposed to be my family
thank god my mom’s a role model, it helped me keep my sanity
silver lining in every story, i’m sure
cause now i see life different, and i appreciate more
your mind frame is key, instead of dwellin on the topic
i’mma stay golden and tellin myself: “i got this…”
i’m not sorry…
[chorus: breana marin & (j*formz)]

- j formz lyrics

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