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this is me - j-easy lyrics

i’m not signed to a record label
so when i releases music i become unstable
things that i say people gotta bring me to the conference table
people gotta have a talk with me cause the apple didn’t fall far from tree
i know i have an issue with anger
barring down on me so hard like an anchor
that’s why i put this music out
lock me away and put me in the chamber
writing everything in my head on paper
failure is not an option i gotta become greater
gotta watch what i write or it will come back and haunt me later
deep dark thoughts run thru my head
just wanna lay down and go to bed
but that doesn’t help so where can i turn too
through all the sh-t i’ve been thru only a few know
screw it tell the world
i’m sick and tired of bullsh-t
i’m tired of all the hypocrites
i’m really sick and tired of people askin me if i’m okay
keeping my thoughts locked on tight don’t want them to come to the light
but they try to bust out but i fight it
doing everything in my power with all my might
i miss her all right
yesterday threw me in a whril
we celebrated like we didn’t have a care in the world
no cakes, no ballons, no gifts, no i’m sorry for your loss will ever make it better i’m tired of it all
i’ll say it one time you keep asking me imma just throw you thru the wall
no more nice act it’s time you f-ckers get your sh-t cracked
got the 410 ready and racked that’s a fact
really i’m hurting deep down inside and no one sees
these thoughts got me filled up like the sea
and never thought this is what it would be
but i guess i cashed out and paid the fee
i left and didn’t grab the key why me
everyone looks to me to be almighty
dying inside and it’s sucks i’m tryin to tell you nicely but don’t take it lightly
most times i sit in silence that what frightens me

the thing that’s k!lling me i can not see
using this music instead of the tissue
my proof is in the sales and streams
a dangerous thing to give me a platform to yell and i scream
saying i’m just trying to make this come true
and you people have no idea what i’ve gone thru
dealing with this pain on my shoulders
got these wounds from these giant boulders
my life just seems like it’s on a wild rollercoaster
f-ck what these other people think
no you’re not crazy you don’t need a shrink
people really need to take a step back and think
what they say about someone’s art because that person poured their heart into that art
start understanding we all don’t seek for help
we push ourselves to seek more wealth
at the same time everyone beats you up
says you’ll be nothin
but you really can’t do anything the cards are delt
half these individuals don’t understand i’m doing this to keep me sane
can’t be mad and i’m not placing any blame
i guess sh-t will never be the same
the word the everyone wants to claim
being famous is a goal and not where i got my aim
seems like i got the crosshairs right on my brain
gotta sit back smoke on my mary jane
packed my bags up hoppin on this train
my goal is to get away from this pain
i fight my urges to escape
look around and i see a shadow of a gun shape
picked it up can’t let it go cause its held on by tape
i put it to my head and blow my brains out
no one had any idea that’s what i was about
just know i didn’t have any doubts
b-tch

- j easy lyrics

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