meet the matthews - j cru lyrics
dear sarah
i’m sorry that the date didn’t go as well as i thought
guess you a thought
i mean, sh*t, sarah, thought we were gettin’ along
you ghosted me but it’s me who knows how to haunt
you should have said you weren’t interested, that’s respectable
quick call or text is entirely acceptable
but you went ahead and did something so unethical
you got b*lls, sarah, time to kick you in the t*st*c*ls
you kinda like a vegetable * cold and dry
you got nothing goin’ on behind those eyes
whеn you listen to this song, i hope you cry
and you could say you’re sorry, but i know that’s liеs
to be honest, you got really sweaty at the zoo (ew)
at dinner you were rude, all your interests are [?]
and you use too much perfume and you like ghosting dudes, so
let me be your boo (boo)
dear mrs. matthews
i have to break the news that your daughter’s not what you think
she needs a shrink
we ordered three bottles of wine on our dinner date and i didn’t drink
glass after glass, i bet her liver stinks
i’m sure it’s not your fault
i’m sure she had some friends that turned her into such a bop
i’m sure you did your very best to teach her right from wrong
but somewhere along the line your little angel clipped the wings
and now you gotta watch her body fall
so if you’re sad and need someone to call
just hit my line, ’cause everybody knows that i’m in love with sarah’s mom
sarah’s mom has got it going on
but her daughter is a b*tch and probably won’t respond, huh
sarah the puppet master of cruelty
she didn’t think that dinner with me would lead to a eulogy
thought she could distract me with plastic b00bs and booty cheeks
but who’s the one who fell in my b00by trap so beautifully
she dead
she dead
dear doctor helen
you delivered a baby, october 11th
park hospital in 1997
i’m sad to say that that baby grew up to be dependent
on attention from different men, her life is so depressive
i have a question bout her birthing session
did you drop her on her skull or did she suffer any head compression?
maybe you need to pick a new profession
because that baby’s still a baby, there’s been no progression
i blame you for her existence, you brought her into this world
you’re a medical professional, you make me [?]
you could have warned her mom and told her bout her little pearl
and said “miss matthews, there’s a high chance she becomes a terrible girl”
i can’t abide it, a doctor in the world with no ethical guidance
i’m breaking in your home to destroy your medical license
so you can never birth a person like sarah the virus
never again
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