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what i've become - ivory rasmus lyrics

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i used to punish myself for existing
thought friends were waiting for the day i went missing
i pushed them back with my thoughts
convinced that i was hated, i just reaped what a saught

imagined anger in jokes
so every time they poked i shot back unprovoked
it’s not the way that i am
but that’s what self hatred will do to a man

let alone a man who doesn’t want to be one
let alone a kid who thinks his life lacks reason
let alone a loner loser losing all his day*ones
everyday i wake up and rue what i have become

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