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i'm looking over a four-leaf clover - ivor biggun lyrics

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i’m looking over my dead dog rover
that i hit with a power mower
one leg is missing the other is gone
one leg is scattered all over the lawn
no use complaining, the one leg remaining
is spinning on the car-port floor
that’s why i’m looking over
my dead dog rover
that i hit with a power mower

i’m squirting over my girl’s pullover
that she left on the bedroom floor
i got excited and when i withdrew
i hit the curtains and bedside lamp too
in my elation my ej-culation
went and filled up the dressing table drawer
that’s why i’m squirting over my girl’s pullover
she left on the bedroom floor

well i got run over by a white landrover
that was driven by an officer of the law
she was a sergeant from paddington nick
she seemed quite friendly so i showed her my d-ck
unable to function i used her truncheon
and soon she was yelling out for more
so i got my leg over in a white landrover
that was driven by an officer of the law

now she’s my baby…
driven by an officer of the law
i don’t mean maybe…
driven by an officer of the law

then there is another un-recorded verse discovered in
the biggun archives that was popular during live
performances at the time when it had a certain
relevance and referred to a current children’s tv
programme…

gordon the gopher
he w-nked on the sofa
one mornin’ on kids channel 4
he f-cked gaby roslin
he f-cked zig and zag
and n-bby the sheep had a vigorous sh-g
he stuffed up the stoppers
of several teeny boppers
he was up it with a puppet on the floor
then he got his leg over
martina navratilova
which no-one had managed before

- ivor biggun lyrics

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