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t.v. - itsthechef lyrics

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(intro)

“excellent speech, mr. president! or is it… ex-president?”

(hook)

i’m the ugly in this world and the beautiful too
standing naked on top of a hill
i’ll find salvation doing god’s will
but i can’t control the lives of my crew

mom’s born jesusa, and they’re calling her sue
america done changed her too
she’s got angels on her back, like fannie mae and freddie mac
savoring the moment, god giveth, god taketh back

(verse 1)

i often wonder if i’ll end up divorced
if i’ll have enough money to afford a four-course meal
on my weekends, four hors-m-n beseeching
the world to do better, even they’re getting sick of the k!lling

even rappers are hitting a ceiling
rapping verses in a triplet, missile dropkicks i’m hittin’ em
frog splashing a michelin, three stars in my kitchen and
reptar in my shopping cart, and my jay swish like listerine, wut?

i knock you out like antihistamine
like itis from lean cut means which keep the spleen clean
like my mother in the month of may
wagging fingers every which way

naturally, i’m disobeying every word she says
paying no mind to the mechanics of our broken family, need to nerf that
listening to say anything, talking percoset
depression and anxiety always felt so far from me

i play these monkeys like i’m kerchak
winston or harambe, always feel like i’m late
riding in a hyundai p-ssengers seat
handbag in between my feet, reflecting on a john keats
poem that i read last week

(verse 2)

“i am shalashaska! also called, revolver ocelot. that’s major ocelot to you, and don’t you forget it!”

reflecting on a john keats
poem that i read last week while acting like my daddy
brought it to me in my crib. i fantasize about an
alternate reality where mom and dad share the
formalities of marriage, babies in a carriage

watching rick and morty in a sans-serif fashion
smooth around the edges, on the couch defenseless
as if a script is more definitive than life itself
endangering my mental health, seeking counsel on a subway

subway, on my way to see
long distance girlfriend, swimming in the deep end
shimmering sequins, discount prom dress
shivering in night sweats, red-handed conscience
f-ck

(verse 3)

“my dad’s gonna fight your dad! i wonder who will win. i’m pretty sure that my dad will. my dad’s stronger and faster than your dad any day!”
“oh, not tonight, sweetie. you’ve had chef every night this week. but i love chef… oh.”
“but you gotta make him look really, really strong. god d-mn it! i f-cking get it! i know how to do the job!”

guilty, i’m a youngin. guilty of my ignorance
filthy on stage with a mic, due diligence on
first amendment rights, record a little music
then practice on some kiting in the bot lane

say my name, you’re god d-mn right
you already knew it. don’t bother asking questions just to prove it
stressin’ over five-second exchanges, feeling aimless
i’m flipping pages for an answer, hummin’ tiny dancer for the

tenth time, bombing all the sentons
eating all the senzu beans, reading sun tzu
leaning ‘gainst a wall in a corridor, nevermore
chirpin’ like a crazy 2am at the corner store

thoughts are horrorshow, spittin’ ultraviolence
pullin’ marlboros within the confines of an envelope
all i need is silence, all i need is love
no man is an island, no man’s unaccepted up above

searching down below, for the gl-sses i have shattered
for the apple has been plucked and we proceed
nothing matters, nothing else matters, marshall mathers
through a trailer park, skipping past the queen of hearts, cheshire and mad hatter

this is where i start. alpha and omega
this is where i end. no longer scared to death
you can see right through me, i don’t give a sh-t, crack a whip
my soul is unbowed, unbent
unbroken

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