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survive - itsbambino lyrics

[spoken word: itsbambino]
part of me wants to die, the other part wants to live
a trouble soul that lost its way in the world
walking dead around a living youth, shunned outside to shiver in the cold ruins of this never ending nightmare
you’re probably thinking, “wow, there’s something wrong with this guy.”
wouldn’t blame you if you did, wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t
it’s a new year but i’m still the same cardiomyopathic me
all i want is to be free, if only my mind would agree
maybe then i’d be the person that i want to be
its getting harder to live when all the mind wants to do is die
“season, season, season”

[verse 1: itsbambino]
waking up everyday, feels like a challenge
i’ve got all this talent but somehow i feel average
it’s messing with my mind, collateral damage
if i kicked the bucket, who would cry a whole gallon?
momma always told me that i was different from the other kids
they were doing drugs so did i, they were doing it for fun, i was doing it to die
overly emotional, suicide looking at me from the other side
there were some times where life made us collide a couple times
long story short, the third time wasn’t a charm
i’ve always been pr*ne to harm, playing tic tac toe with veins in my arms
it’s really been difficult to keep calm, it’s really been difficult to keep calm
really been difficult to keep calm
[interlude: itsbambino]
“i don’t think that anybody really understand what i go through on a day to day basis. it constantly feels my body is at war with my mind, and i’m losing… miserably.”

[break]
“season, season, season”

[verse 2: itsbambino]
she motivated me to go ahead and speak about my problems
and try harder to solve them, but i just feel off
like leaves that fall during autumn, might as well go ahead and cut my losses
there’s pauses in every clause and clauses in every pause
how the mighty have fallen? mama, it’s bad
at some point i just wanted it to stop
survive might be my last drop and 2021 might just be the year where my heart decides to stop

[outro: itsbambino]
“i’ve never felt this vulnerable before, so pr*ne to pain. emotionally empty, it has been taking a toll on me. something in mekeeps telling me to go further. it always tells me to, “survive.”.”

- itsbambino lyrics

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