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honesty - isor one lyrics

honesty lyrics
[verse]
yo, march 28th, born an aries at sundown
palomar hospital, escondido slum town
straight to san marcos i was born and raised
i have the best memories from my childhood days
playing out on the swing*set
the days seemed longer than everything
a new experience for me to document
i’d often sit and think about the things i would become
oddly enough, what i am isn’t one of ‘em
a writer, just like my mother
i inherited the gift to write the way i feel and so did my brother
so now instead of sitting at the dinner table to eat
wе sit in front of the speaker, writing and making bеats
isor and doa have become our new identities
who knew the world would replay in my recent memories?
my brother he encouraged me to never put the pen down
it was a major influence in shaping who i am now
a musician, just like my father
i inherited the gift of rhythm
he was a drummer, i am a monster
this combination of traits turned me into someone i don’t know
the quiet guy who broke his sh*ll and suddenly has an ego
give me any instrumental, i’m confident that i’ll rip it
but when it comes to confidence in life, i feel so weak and timid
most of my time is spent tryna figure out why i exist
all i know is my parents they raised me better than this
given every opportunity to succeed at a young age
i had good grades in fact
all the way through middle school, got straight as
but all of that changed when i got to san marcos high
sincerely hate that place
and i probably will until i die
the social pressures weighing down just made me wanna fit in
even if that meant doing things that we’re forbidden
smoking weed and hanging out with the wrong crowd left an imprint
if i could go back now, i wish that things mighta been different
but as of now i’m still sitting here with my paper cup filled with god knows what, saying “homie, let’s blaze it up”
yeah, it’s not that big a deal ’til you start drinking every night
on a downward plight and something just don’t feel right
i drowned myself in sorrows ’til i couldn’t see the surface
‘cause when i don’t have a drink, i act awkwardly and nervous
sitting in the corner by myself without a word to say
time just flies by, i think i need to find a better way
my mom and dad, they taught me every moment should be cherished
the fact is i’m embarrassed to even look at my parents, knowing what they wanted me to be
an astronaut, an actor or a politician
instead i’m just an alcoholic rapper
mom and dad, i let you down
i’m sorry, what can i say?
it’s hard, but one f*cking song ain’t enough for me to explain it
god, help me please, i’m falling
reach out your arm and grab me
i’m growing sick and tired of pretending that i’m happy
if only i could go back to those days when i was younger
when my heart was filled with laughter and my soul was rich with wonder
i wouldn’t have to worry about this dense immense pressure
and the constant feeling that i should be doing something better…
than waiting for the moment all my life when i can break free
put aside the false pride and finally speak with honesty
i started this song months ago
now that i said it, just sounds pathetic
like life’s a sick joke and i don’t get it
i said goodbye to three of my family members last year
already in 2012, lost two of my peers
and even though it sorta makes you realize how precious life is
it isn’t worth the pain and i’m so sick of feeling like this
but i will never break because my parents raised me strong
instilled inside me ethics, the difference from right and wrong
that’s why in this cruel world, i feel as though i don’t belong
sad the only way i can say this is in a song
i long for your attention, approval and admiration
i’m sorry i put you through all that pain and frustration
you were always there for me
so when i tell you that i love you
that’s in this life and the next
not even death can keep me from you
universally connected through cosmic divinity
on this spiritual path i will be with you for infinity
remembering all those things you did for me
we could never grow apart
to my family, just know you’re always in my heart

- isor one lyrics

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