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dare's birthday song - irishtoothache lyrics

[pre*chorus: peter muth]
he likes reggae, he likes whiskey
that’s all we know
at least i hope he likes reggae, if not
he should’ve let us know, let us know
but it’s too late now, here goes nothing
here we go, here we go
happy birthday dare we love you and we hope it shows

[verse 1: mta]
take a [jawny?] holiday like every other week
to watch the terps take a terriblе defeat
yeah thе maryland club, he’s the number one fan
p*ssed off as h*ll that they’re in the big ten
or he’s not p*ssed off cause’ he’s totally inscrutable
if he didn’t wobble he’d say that he was immoveable
not scared of chucky from child’s play 3
cause he’s a real*life nucky from boardwalk e
that’s a reference to the fact that he’s from o.c
and has a bunch of posters for a council seat
yeah samurai hair and a d.c. crest
was the go*to look for a mansion event
but now the mansion is yours, thank god for that
cause’ it’s a f*ckin’ money trap and a mecca for rats
happy birthday dare, you got a huge house
i didn’t get your sh*t, because of the house
[chorus: peter muth]
his name is dare and you may not know
but he’s the dude that bought the mansion ohh
used to be in d.c. but not anymore
he moved into the mansion ohh
seasons come and the seasons go
but he never leaves the mansion ohh
he gonna die before he gets old
but you can bury him in the mansion ohhhh

[verse 2: glaze]
big guy, t*shirt, bare feet
big house that stands barely
small dog, big attention hog
cause’ every time i walk in it always humps my jeans
man of few words and a man of strange things
a stripper pole, a fog machine
a plastic shark, some cardboard trash
and a wonderful dog named cash
he got a job, but he don’t work
he got some cars, but they don’t work
they just take up some primo spots
smack in the middle of the crack house lot
i don’t know what he likes or he hates
i can’t tell if he’s asleep or awake
raise up your hand for a kratom toast
for the brand new owner of the best group home
[chorus: peter muth]
his name is dare and you may not know
but he’s the dude that bought the mansion ohh
used to be in d.c. but not anymore
he moved into the mansion ohh
seasons come and the seasons go
but he never leaves the mansion ohh
he gonna die before he gets old
but you can bury him in the mansion ohhhh

[verse 3: notes]
cash the dog is the worst around
pack up that harness take him back to the pound
that doesn’t mean i’m not in love with you
notes on the track, happy birthday dude
yama sushi order is the bomb sushi order
order so much sushi people think you’re a h**rder
flee the cars that don’t run right
don’t run all day, don’t run all night
spruce up the mansion, man he’s a champion
“can we get a urinal man?”
“yes, notes, we can man!”
works from home 5 days a week
working really hard to keep his money off the street
it’s been hard work figuring out what to say
cause’ all you say is: “hey.”
one last thought before i put it to bed
let’s k!ll cash that dog should be dead
[chorus: peter muth]
his name is dare and you may not know
but he’s the dude that bought the mansion ohh
used to be in d.c. but not anymore
he moved into the mansion ohh
seasons come and the seasons go
but he never leaves the mansion ohh
he gonna die before he gets old
but you can bury him in the mansion ohhhh

[verse 4: peter muth]
ryan dare, quiet dude from the ocean
silent stare, with a lack of emotion
terps game on and a whiskey poured
orders sh*t online, then gets quickly bored
so he skips town, get away for the weekend
how you got that frown, when every day’s a weekend?
all i can say about cashew nuts
google how to k!ll dogs then feed you cashew nuts
top down on the tracker and it’s ’bout to snow
“thanks.” hah
just thought you should know
the mansion ’bout to freeze, empty propane tanks
amerigas please deliver propane thanks
house across the alley takin’ parking spots
knock down skeltz’s room, build a parking lot
cheers to you, let’s raise our glasses
but keep yours on, so you can still see

[chorus: peter muth]
his name is dare and you may not know
but he’s the dude that bought the mansion ohh
used to be in d.c. but not anymore
he moved into the mansion ohh
seasons come and the seasons go
but he never leaves the mansion ohh
he gonna die before he gets old
but you can bury him in the mansion ohhhh

[verse 5: tup]
we all know dare, or maybe we don’t
okay we don’t, but we known him for years
where’s he been, what’s he all about
just a man on a couch with a beer
that’s it dare get a lot of ass, but they all sl*ts
dare got a lot of cash, but his dog sucks
dare got a big mansion, now we fog machine dancin’
’til his property value’s like ‘aw f*ck’
he like: “awhh”
that’s the sound that he makes, when he’s breathing in and out of his mouth, yeah
he go: “awhhh”
right out the front of his face, and he ain’t even workin’ out
he got a gym set, bench press, weight bench, big ass weight set
he only ever use that kitchen plate set
wait that’s too much, i’ve gone too far
you the man dare now let me get one of your two cars

[verse 6: skeltz]
now dare’s a large white male between 20 and 50
i think he wears glasses, i think he lives with me
and when he throws a party it’s like dinner for schmucks
google glasses guy is here! oh wee i’m in luck!
so put some loud jams on, do an embarrassing dance
and then he’s silent, stands in a precarious stance
but talk to him man, ’cause if you give him barely a chance
then you’ll see that he’s a loyal and gregarious man
now he’s very, very rich, got plenty of cash
but he’s got one too many, that dog sucks ass
so whatcha say? the next time that you go away
we let [aze?] and chase watch him for a couple of days
and if that don’t work, let ’em stay five nights
if you miss him you can order up some steak fried rice
it would taste quite nice, with a glass of [kg?]
happy birthday dare, i hope your dog gets rabies

[verse 7: stubbs]
well dare stands there, weeblin’ wobblin’ forth and back forth
back forth, wondering what he got so fat for
wondering what other stuff he could have got for that four*
hundred thousand dollars he bought this piece of cr*p for
handsome man, ran from d.c to hampden
king of the sky castle, to master of the mansion
he dancin’, but stickin’ usually at home
he make dat redneck chicken dat fall off de bone
middle of the workday, so he’s likely home
rejecting patents that aren’t even slightly wrong
looking like a fluffy soft serve ice cream cone
he make dat redneck chicken dat fall off de bone
years of inactivity make it hard to breathe
so he just lays around watching his tv (yup)
yeah the reasons people like him might be hard to see
but in our hearts he always must be, that’s why we sing

[chorus reprise: peter muth]
he likes reggae, he likes whiskey
that’s all we know (the dude that bought the mansion ohh)
at least i hope he likes reggae, if not
he should have let us know, let us know (moved into the mansion ohh)
but it’s too late now, here goes nothing
here we go, here we go (but he never leaves the mansion ohh)
happy birthday dare we love you and we hope it shows (can bury him in the mansion ohhhh)

he likes reggae, he likes whiskey
that’s all we know (he’s the dude that bought the mansion ohh)
at least i hope he likes reggae, if not
he should have let us know, let us know (moved into the mansion ohh)
but it’s too late now, here goes nothing
here we go, here we go (but he never leaves the mansion ohh)
happy birthday dare we love you and we hope it shows (can bury him in the mansion ohhhh)

he likes reggae, he likes whiskey
that’s all we know (he’s the dude that bought the mansion ohh)
at least i hope he likes reggae, if not
he should have let us know, let us know (he moved into the mansion ohh)
but it’s too late now, here goes nothing
here we go, here we go (but he never leaves the mansion ohh)
happy birthday dare we love you and we hope it shows (you can bury him in the mansion ohhhh)

[outro]

- irishtoothache lyrics

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