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haunted - irelle yoko lyrics

[intro]
mood disorder/impulse control and addiction disorder/personality disorder/self-harm/ alcohol/substance dependence/bipolar/anhedonia/dissociative amnesia/pedophilic disorder/and so much more/haha/haunted/

[chorus]
i hope i’ll die, hope i’ll never have to wake up again/
everything in vain, i feel so much pain/
my mind’s haunted, i hear voices all over/
i wanna set up myself on fire and burn like supernova/x2/

[1st verse]
i don’t remember how it started, but suddenly i was alone/
forever fighting in a battle the shadow long ago has won/
no matter what i start, i will be failing like always/
it is just like any other of my useless days/
my artwork is all over, my beauty is on my thighs/
if you look in my trash, you’ll find my letters of goodbye/
my masterpiece is disturbing, but it’s a little glory/
this is my escape, let me tell you my story/
i compared myself to every person, i was always the 3rd/
i knew n-body would ever like to enter my world/
i was bullied and picked on, i was teased from head to toe/
even my best friend of 9 years became foe/
i disliked everything, my face, body and even mind/
i realized i was a failure, and it was the time/
i couldn’t take it anymore, i decided i was done living this/
so i gathered all my strength and decided to end it/

[2nd verse]
it’s always only myself, proud and never calling for help/
maybe when i’ll fly down under, i’ll be welcomed into h-ll/
and no, i’m not okay, cuz i don’t wanna survive/
look at me, lost as always, existence ain’t life/
nightmares every night, i don’t know what it’s like/
to feel alive, i‘m lonely and sad running through life/
i had moments where i felt okay, but the feeling doesn’t stay/
i cut myself, so i feel it and start to fade away/
so much has happened and today i regret it/
and all these lines are from my bl–dy past, believe me/
no matter how my day plays out, i never laugh/
i don’t wanna know the future, because i am afraid/
it’s so fortunate to have a child/
see a beautiful wife that says “i love you” and stays always by your side/
i see the evil smiles cuz it knows i’ve sinned/
i’m losing hope and strength, that i need to live/

[3rd verse]
no b-tterflies in my stomach, more like k!ller bees inside/
i prefer to erase my thoughts, by getting high/
devil, give me a sign, please, tell me that you believe/
and bring me back, let me feel for the last time the wind/
i’m used to the darkness, i don’t see any light/
i had goals, but too many were left to rot inside/
it makes me sad, and eats me alive from the core/
once again my dream was broken into pieces, i can’t no more/
i inhale that motherf-cking glue, hoping to leave tonight/
i was always different, i don’t deserve life/
i don’t deserve a family, no kids, no house, no wife/
i smoke and drink cuz i found myself never being alive/
i don’t value friends, i get bored too fast and they disappear/
i found myself in a girl, but now everything is clear/
even i would give up on my motherf-cking myself/
once again i overdose, i drown smoke and go to h-ll/

[4th verse]
i even never had s-x, but my life is almost over/
i hate being sober, just like that girl when to exhaustion i drove her/
there is no person more pathetic than me/
i’m sure, there is no one in the world more pathetic than me/
i don’t wanna stop, anyway, it’s already too late/
deep dead underground without legacy, is my fate/
i remember i used to care, i used to be there/
now i am gone far away, i wanted to stop everyday/
i’m drinking and smoking away what’s left of my rotten body/
i don’t feel sorry, guess it was just another sad story/
the feeling in my stomach, the pounding in my head/
the only thoughts in my mind, were wishing i was dead/
minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days/
every moment that i lived, was just a smoke filled haze/
cast spell on someone else, find another prey/
i come to die, not to live, so my life begins today/

- irelle yoko lyrics

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