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past/future - illogic & blockhead lyrics

[verse 1: illogic]
looking back, i was one of those cats with mad baggage
lugged around luggage loaded with tears and bad habits
for years depression was embedded in my make-up
i had a sleep-walking existence, wasn’t tryna wake up
self-esteem was a dream that soon became a nightmare
consumed with death, felt unworthy to breathe the night air
at times i’d rather die than hold hands with happiness
tired of having my heart ripped out by actresses, friends who showed they didn’t care, a father who wasn’t there
i had so much to say, the pain was all i could share
the rain made the puddle mirror so clear ’til i had my emotional wreck with no airbags in the middle of nowhere
i saw life as a setback and death as progression
life was a burden, thought death was release
tragedy seems to strike me in succession
but i knew the lock on the cage would break if i sang in the right key
in the midst, married at 21 on top of all this
we had love ‘cause we had a son and that’s about it
i wasn’t acting as a husband with a child should
still wild out, combing the crowd, tryna find my childhood
my shoulders couldn’t handle the weight of responsibility
i was in danger of doing what my father did to me
now things wouldn’t be right without the pain and strife
thank god for the jaws of life, uh

[chorus: matisha worthy]
i know you would like to ask me something ‘bout my future
in time i will answer, in time i will answer all those things
i know you would like to ask me something ‘bout my past
in time i will answer, in time i will answer all those things

[verse 2: illogic]
looking forward i see progression and direction of contentment
lessons of the past eradicated all resentment
what was learned is now applied toward success
the hourgl-ss looks half full i must confess
blessed to see my [?] smile daily as stress increases
when i need help to uncover and insert the missing pieces
life jigsaw was past pitfall, now embraced his challenges
talent versus action, if i can only find a balance
is family versus p-ssion, i’m tryna find a balance
and in that process, i hope to sidestep the woe and malice
now i can’t see a future lacking obstacles or closed doors, variables, barricades or cold floors
but i do see a future where i’ll rise above and persevere, breakthrough, stay afloat and dry the tears
it took years for me to live in the now and plan for tomorrow instead of wallowing in yesterday’s failure and pain
now to my peers i’m an example that they can trust and follow ‘cause i bleed openly, never scared to stand by my name
now when it’s all said and done, i wanna see my children proud to relish in the fact that their father made an impact
and stand on their soapbox and screaming out loud that they’ll never succ-mb to the orthodox and get trapped
so look to tomorrow but today take a stand ‘cause you’ll plan to fail if you fail to plan, understand?

[chorus: matisha worthy]
i know you would like to ask me something ‘bout my future
in time i will answer, in time i will answer all those things

[verse 3: illogic]
now tomorrow’s not promised but i see a few things
as the dawn breaks the darkness, i hear the bird sing
each step i take with confidence but it’s obvious i’m nauseous
i haven’t gotten this far being cautious with things
i wanna leave with a sense of achieving a great legacy, as a branch of my culture that avoids leprosy
i’ll be a part of history, a star in my son’s memory, a priceless commodity that remains a mystery
but right now, i don’t know what the future brings but it’s gotta be better so ride with me and let’s build this city together
this goes out to my wife and kids, fans and friends
i promise i won’t burn the bridge no matter how it ends
but tomorrow’s right there and it’s gotta be better so ride with me and let’s build this city together uh
ride with me and let’s build this city together
i need you to ride with me and let’s build this city together, c’mon

- illogic blockhead lyrics

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