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as you wish - illijam lyrics

[verse 1]
i know i really ain’t/
been thinking clear this year/
been doing a lot of accusing/
been avoiding looking in the mirror/
but at the same time i’ve fixated/
on myself you’d think it more plain/
to numb the pain, i picked a vein/
injected a vile vial of vain medicine/
and i’ve become aware, that my/
recovery was slowed, and by/
this iv drip of bitterness/
it’s had me barely alive/
it’s like i’d rather clench these ashes/
then trust and try to get past it/
i screamed in the dark that i hated your art/
but i forgot that the canvas was m-ssive/

[hook]
i didn’t know, of that which i spoke/
face on the ground, hand on my mouth/
you are wise in your ways yeah, you are kind in my pain yeah/
put me back in my place yeah, i repent of it all and i say/
(as you wish) i ain’t gonna fight no more, i ain’t gonna fight no more/ 2x
(as you wish) i ain’t gonna fight no more, even in the night o lord/
(as you wish) i ain’t gonna fight no more, i ain’t gonna fight no more/ (as you wish)

[verse 2]
i grieved the death of dream, and it’s hard to let go/
when atom bombs drop on you, you still hear echos/
perhaps i was codependent, so much so i that i chose irreverence/
i don’t gotta know why it took place; maybe the only closure is faith/
so i limp as i walk with this shrapnel in me, pray that my pain will magnify/
the most ironic of bombs ever to drop: the murder of god by wicked sinners to give them all
new life/
i don’t resent what you put me through/
i’d do it a million times to gain you/
i’ll suffer when i have to/
it’s all good if i have you/

[bridge]
no one can stop the good that you are purposing/
i won’t say a word until i’m worshipping/
you know that i’m broken but i’m hoping now/
explosions painting roses; only you know how/

[verse 3]
god bless, the valley of the shadow of death/
i ain’t bitter i’ma be better than ever soon/
god yes, you’re making beauty outta the mess/
i can’t wait to forever be together with you/
sitting in heaven with my scars like/
remember how he got us through the dark night?/
nukes serve to reverse the curse; he works the worst to reveal his worth and it’s glory/

- illijam lyrics

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