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terrified - ilana degann lyrics

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i bet by now you’re sick of hearing about my past
every day a new sad story, worse than the last
i’ve been broken, battered, beaten, black and blue
and i’m terrified that it could happen with you

restless pacing round but smiling while i’m sad
by a long*shot you’re the best i’ve ever had
you came with comfort, cleaned and covered all the cuts
but i’m terrified of the ands, the ifs, the buts

all my joy holds hands with underlying fear
that it’ll crumble just as fast as it appeared
giving vulnerability yet another try
afraid that yours could just turn out to be a lie
anxious attachment that i’m working to combat
but it’s a war zone, down in merely seconds flat
i’m fighting, flailing, fumbling, fell flat on my face
and i’m terrified that i can’t grow from this place

all my joy holds hands with underlying fear
that it’ll crumble just as fast as it appeared
giving vulnerability yet another try
afraid that yours could just turn out to be a lie

the puzzle pieces in their place
ooh what happens when i cannot erase
the tests, the more or lessons that ran my spirit dry
nothing’s wrong, but i’m afraid it’s finally right

i’m scared of everything, all my fears they just accrue
but i’m terrified that i’m not scared of you

- ilana degann lyrics

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