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dunsh vs. red flag - ibattle lyrics

[round 1: dunsh]
some said i wasn’t gonna show up
well that’s what the talk was about
but i show up to the showdown unless a good shows on
in which case the shows off after i show up and let everyone down
said i pull up in that
yo f-ck that, lexx hit my phone, he said, “the league’s in decline
but the channel’s back if you battle flag, i’ll even cut you off a piece of the pie.”
i said, ” f-ck. no.”
he said, “please.”
i said, “i need a reason my guy.”
he said, “athena’s gonna be there.”
i said, “i’m free in july.”
athena, can you introduce me to mewlips please?
the guitar is from judas priest, i be lost in them blueish greens
red flag! f-ck yes! think of all this could do for me
so excited for this three round battle that i did not bring a two or three
but tonight i’m on my brutus st–z
you and me homies ’til the f-ckin’ dude from run the jewels gets turned to julius caesar
who is he? battlerap.com columnist
see that’s why this cat’s a dork
but you’re pretty fire at the sport there michael rap report (rapaport)
you’re a writer, that’s for sure
and a brilliant litigator, when the judge speaks he hits her with some fire -ss retort
like, “oh we’re just givin’ out life sentences now?!
well that judgement is wack.”
stabs the da through pant leg like “can you cut him some slack?”
y’all put guns in ya raps, well f-ck that
his weapons a knife
you don’t need to bring the cans out, unless it’s a slice
he has s-x with his wife on some “just the tip. i’m an ox lover.”
then beats the p-ssy up that’s why she nicknamed him “the box cutter”
ever since the school dance there was p-ssion when he spoke
he said, “do you mind if i cut in?” and f-ckin’ stabbed her in the throat
yo jackson is a joke
bro of course you don’t criminal law, picture this dude in an arraignment shift
he keeps gettin’ afraid and sayin’ racist sh-t
thinkin’ all the clients are bangz and sh-t
like, “ahh, david williams to booth 3
whoops. you look just like him. come in and have a seat.”
“my name’s jackson yates i’m from knife bars llc
i’m your attorney tonight. you doin’ okay? you doin’ alright? they treating you okay back there? okay, just have a seat
okay, ahh, it looks like…they’re not gonna be able to release you tonight
okay you’re a medium flight risk. looks like you got a failure to appear on the 9th
and it looks like…yeah, so the complainant says she was in fear for her life
when you reach for a knife, held it up her jugular after beating her wife
and uh, apparently her other friend was also beat with a pipe
i’m just gonna stop right here. this was all just lyrical, right?”
bro, you are a literal dork, i’m in criminal court
a place where “pitchin'” and “corpse” has very different definitions from yours
i’ll run up on you on your office in the 50th floor
kick in the door, beat the sh-t outta red flag then have my client beat the sh-t outta yours
yo, you are nitty if he was red rum
carrot top if he couldn’t get none
prince harry’s ugly step son
el-p if he never pressed one
you want some come and get some
i’ll damage this man’s chin
let red flag get outta pocket, there’s a challenge you can’t win
head spin, we can dance whenever
jackson better chill or get to dancin’ with the hands like it’s capoeira
yo if i did write three rounds them sh-ts would’ve been fire as f-ck!
but i give a 9th of a f-ck about anything you write cause you suck
i’m here on the worst week of my f-ckin’ life still lighting you up
so while everyone else is hypin’ you up, i’m getting drunk
and one more thing
i spoke to uhh the managing partner at his firm
sent them some of your battles and he wants me to tell you…you’re fire
fired, fired, oh yeah, okay sike

[round 1: red flag]
i see y’all are excited for this battle, there’s a fact that you should know though
he wanted to condense it, 3 to 1, like the changes he would no show
it’s my personal favorite battler…versus dunsh
welcome back, ho
i know you’ve gotten spoiled from the fame
“dunsh”
what used to be a sound effect is royalty today
how are you top five with one ibattle? the golden boy should tuck his chain
this is sat, you gettin’ points just for your name
time to shake that rust off, you need way more practice
i got fire on deck like a flameboy graphic
this “the story of adidunsh,” in my drake voice, savage
you gon’ get four-0’d like your grade point average
i’m bout to hit you with some of the wittiest sh-t that’s ever been heard
pixar’s up, kevin a bird
we givin’ weapons to nerds just ‘cause they “clever with words?”
you can be street-smart when i split your head on the curb
brostradamus over here
what makes you hoes really special though
is you’re the type lawyer that puts the “sue” in “pseudo-intellectual”
always gotta be meta or conceptual, gotta try so hard for them to keep watchin’
i don’t need to get attention, city benches, got too many bars for them to sleep on me
but i still been followin’ in your footsteps
i look up to you, bro
they book me on kotd ‘cause they don’t trust you to show
twinsies
but i’m on a win streak, you hit some speed b-mps on that road
you even chose a cheaper law school like, “f-ck student loans”
i’m exactly like you, but much cooler though
a little better across the board, i’m f-ckin’ dunsh 2.0
better lawyer, better rapper, better at all that, b-tch
you better than battle rap ‘til you lonely and have to crawl back in
and i’d smoke you in a trial, f-ck your law practice
the judge would keep interrupting me like, “talk. that. sh-t!”
ladies and gentlemen of the jury, won’t you open your eyes?
dunsh try to bolt while i expose him, he’ll have his motion denied
he real choosey with who he battle, gotta make the story connect
his poor performances are boring, so y’all ignore ‘em, and yet
in your last match, you got to go to war with a vet
reverse live, yeah, now you can look forward to death
you more pea coat than g-code, worried that your collar will stretch
your gun bars are stun darts
headshot? -snoring-
more like a shot in the neck
these lies thrive on the internet, you just caught in the web
bet that tone change when he p-ss me, that’s the doppler effect
that’s like when an ambulance p-sses and the pitch of the siren goes down
get it? well, after this, you’ll be recognizin’ that sound
y’all seen reservoir dogs?
remember the part where mr. blonde gets left with the cop who’d heard more than he wanted him to hear?
that’s right now
so you wanna talk and get stuck in the middle, or you gonna lend an ear?
this your last battle?
you mad fragile, this s’posed to be fun, that sh-t is weird
but sure, quit now while you got some buzz for once in your career
it’s lookin’ more and more like we at dunder mifflin here
kevin barely doin’ numbers and get dumber every year
permission to insult this b-tch, your honor?
may it please the cvlt
(proceed)
i’m happy to see him in attendance ‘cause it was a risk just to schedule this
we need full engagement from our roster to keep the division compet-tive
lack of partic-p-tion among our greatest is one of our biggest impediments
which is why kevin dunsh is guilty… of criminal negligence
now, this is a serious charge, so let me give you the evidence
as we all know, his presence versus minnix was excellent
but since then, his behavior’s made me take a minute to question it
tweetin’ like, “man, i have no shows to watch,” sendin’ subliminal messages
a’ight, case closed, now, i don’t mean to get disrespectful, kid
but the girl you’re goin’ steady with’s a nice physical specimen
i’m on my cartoon bully sh-t, and this is the best of it
so bet kevin got a jawbreaker quicker than eddy did
as i was saying
me and your girl a random match, that’s a final four pairin’
we just datin’ to bone like findin’ a dinosaur buried
she want me to blow her back out ‘til her spinal cord tearing
if she wild, i’m smashing, nigel thornberry
you mad ‘cause in school you rocked every brand of sandals
khakis, flannels, and still haven’t made a stack to battle
while i was paid
yeah, supreme court, that mean i got a band to travel
plus i got weed the same color as spyro and frogger
anagram (and a gram) for your ex to move like flippin’ the timer in boggle
but he don’t drink or do drugs, so he’s unfazed by that smoke
that must make you mad though
what a waste of that nose
you could do so much cocaine with that, bro
but you can’t stand that white girl like off that breaking bad show
and you not the type white dude to clap sh-t on gangland
you the type white dude that wanna clap when a plane land
type white dude to cop a whip and call his parents for the copay
type white dude always orderin’ in spanish at chipotle
who are you supposed to be, rone?
does he think his approach is his own, or does he know he’s a clone?
get on your nova sh-t, bro
this a 30, ‘kay? but i want 30k, it’s our turn to do numbers like a rotary phone
get back outta line, i’ll ring your bell, leave quasimodo alone
‘cause i’ll keep ringin’ that b-tch like n-body’s home
who the f-ck have you k!lled?
troy brown? the dude more known for freein’ than for writtens?
robo? when you got on king of the dot but somehow needed his -ssistance?
i smoked xcel then exhaled smoke from the weed that we had twisted
and soon as they made the offer, shape of water, i left human sleepin’ with the fishes
oh, you were on world dom?
how ‘bout worldstar? did you have time to visit?
i put on for the city, bruh, you caught chlamydia, we go viral different
now, goin’ virals tricky, but hey, two lawyers…
we could try with this sh-t
it’s weird practicin’ law when you’re a battler, y’all
it doesn’t match with this persona
like, sometimes my paralegal will ask when she comes over
“this doc-ment’s got some sensitive info, how should we handle this disclosure?”
and i’m like, “redact it, then pack it in a folder
or it’s malpractice, we could lose the client’s cash at any moment”
wait, hold up
speakin’ of sensitive info, i got some trivia for all y’all today
back when grind time was still poppin’ all ‘cross the states, young dunshie went by the name of what? doc holladay
doc holladay
god d-mn, i wish that dumb-ss name had not gotten changed
‘cause i’ll catch you and your ho slippin’ with a knife i call otis redding
i’ll either put it onto doc or to bae (‘dock of the bay’)
back in the day, doc needed to work on that delivery
and i don’t mean gettin’ a baby to crown
latex allergy, yeah, i took the gloves off to take the kid out
he be like…”it’s your boy dunsh”
isn’t he just the coolest?
i’ll probably never get a better name than him
he made his name off easily overshadowing less creative kids
but he’s been face to face with greats too, his resume legit
and he does it all without tryin’, doesn’t that lack of effort make you sick?
he even sprinkles in a tasteful self-deprecating bit
so my question’s how i’m s’posed to beat someone who never gave a sh-t?
i mean, he doesn’t care
doesn’t choke, even a stumble’s rare, maybe once a year, but, bruh, i swear, he doesn’t care
if he was on a card but he wasn’t there, well, it’s ‘cause he’d rather hide his face than battle unprepared
but he doesn’t care
you know that one nightmare where you gotta present to the cl-ss in your underwear?
he’s that nervous every battle, very rattled, almost never travels
but even that -n-logy wasn’t fair, and y’all know why, ‘cause he doesn’t care
he doesn’t care
that’s why he got his buzz from diggin’ up personals just to work his way to a hundred shares
‘cause he doesn’t care
that’s why he meticulously crafted an entire round about two moles you can’t even see unless you go up and stare
he doesn’t- a’ight, on second thought, maybe he f-ckin’ cares
bro, you turned those two moles to a scheme like, “who colder than me?”
set up so much for somethin’ simple like a rube goldberg machine
that’s one of them chain reaction contraptions like when a cartoon character tryna catch a mouse
keep it simple, off the dome, bro, the top of your head’s a no-show ‘cause your hairline backin’ out
head stab
they like, “no, it’s ‘headshot bow,’ you gotta let that nine spark him, that blade is such a distraction”
right? ‘cause i gotta get your mind off it
and i’ll use what you got stabbed with to take a dab hit when i’m goin’ to smoke
hittin’ gl-ss with the knife like proposin’ a toast
i don’t know sh-t about a “scuffle,” the hands be k!llin’ these cats
let him pull a pistol out his duffle tryna get to the strap
you ever won a goldfish at a carnival?
well, a’ight, cool, i’m fixin’ to spaz
that mean if we shoot the fair one, you gon’ die soon as you get in that bag
get wrapped in plastic for actin’ soft like your grandma’s good chairs
we both irish, but they want blood, hope y’all like your paddies cooked rare
you still at brooklyn law? well, i got some goons in masks to put there
unloadin’ magazines in your school like the scholastic book fair
but you don’t know ‘bout that ‘cause you’s a stupid little b-tch
and the worst part of your battles when you do some sh-t like this
ugh, just keep rappin’ ‘cause that plus them cheap antics is the wrong way
tryin’ too hard, i’d rather watch b-magic on an off day
i heard you call post malone your current favorite rapper when his song played
and you got a poster of rone hangin’ in the attic at your mom’s place
but last round, i called you his clone and gotta admit it wasn’t true
i heard you’re retirin’, and i ain’t lyin’ when i say not many as original as you
yeah, you pretty close to rone with some jokes from posts you’d probably find on barstool
but i guess that’s better than endless wrestlin’ references and 90’s cartoons
and i’m sorry you had to get cut along with the rest of ‘em, but the knife’s real, all true
you just died here, but he’ll be fine, chill, ‘cause time heals all wounds

- ibattle lyrics

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