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where do i go from here? - ianto taylor lyrics

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i had a dream we died
you were speeding and i warned you to slow down
when the car swerved we collided and as i bled out i knew the blame was yours
we woke up in a purgatory and went to a grocery store
you mocked me for not wanting raisins
i don’t want raisins
i want to be alive
i’m waiting for life to come back when i see a familiar face
i can’t believe that i am seeing you in this place
i don’t want to see you
but you’re here
what happened
i know the answer
i know you couldn’t live without me you said it so many times but i didn’t really think i would die
at least not so soon
i’m told i have a choice
i can love and let go but your absolute sin
means that wherever i’m going you cannot come with
me
should i try to let go of blame and my hate and forgive and move on even though that means i have to leave you
you alone
and facing such terror
i would be to blame
but do i really want to stay here
or worse
go where you’re going?
i know the answer to all three
and its no
and i ask

where do i go from here?
where do i go from here?
where do i go from here?

i feel so trapped caught in this place just treading water
fell in love for a minute and took that time much farther than i ever thought i could but can we go much further
we traverse this earth in our pain and scream murder at those who judge us for we live in abundance why can’t we f-cking just be happy and enjoy our come uppance

are we even good people?

i woke up in a purgatory and asked myself do i even deserve heaven do i deserve h-ll do i stay here in this deadend
i grew up on a culdesac i’m used to the doubt
i’m used to one route the only way out being blocked
i’ve seen cops
i’ve seen saints
i’ve seen sinners
i’ve seen paint
i’ve seen criminals
i’ve seen them all come together
to this beauty that i can’t feel i do anything but taint
for what’s my t-tle

i woke up in a purgatory with a choice that i knew i never could make
but regardless of my decisions i knew they were mine to make
and i knew the truth
even those it was one that was hard to take

i know
i am the purple haze
i am the truth you don’t want to accept
i woke up in the purgatory
full of doubt and regret
but it allowed me to reflect
and i realised these truths
truths that i wouldn’t and couldn’t ever forget
i am the purple haze
i am the purple haze

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