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anxiety - iamjakehill lyrics

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i swear every day is something different
death and helplessness feeling so empty
i trade my what if for others

like what if my illness was more than just wonders
i’m sick of being sick of me
grit my teeth, weaken the knees
i can only run for so long before i trip and see
that i can’t change my outcome
my mind constantly races
i wish i could live without one
i’m my own worst enemy and that’s a reality
i take the smallest thing and turn it into tragedy

a sip of coffee to wake up
but caffeine rattles my brain like i’m insane
but i guess that’s just my makeup
i used to live care free, but now i’m so scared, please
just leave me the f-ck alone
not anybody in general, but my own body, the temple
my inside like catacombs
find my way through the dark to be back at home

the place i was taken from with consent
only to be returned broken and bent
i can’t even be comfortable when i’m at ease
i create a storm from a gentle breeze
why am i like this? where did it come from?
it’s like most of me is in the penumbra
i fight to feel the rays but i’m trapped in the overcast
i pray for clarity, but i haven’t prayed in ages

if i end up in h-ll it’s probably better
than what i face on a daily basis
i can’t even escape it on vacations
i try to relax but only relapse into another attack
nothing’s intact
i can’t hold it together
i’m slowly sinking on this endeavor

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