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angst state - i, the conflict lyrics

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give me peace, give me grace, give me love, just a taste
and i’ll dance in a way that shows honor and praise-
wait, i want you to stay
shame, cover my face
they call it a mayday
i call it an angst state
all i want to do is shut myself up in my room
and fall asleep and dream of you
until i believe that dreams come true
but i know the difference
and this is just a symptom
i’d rather play the victim
than sit in silence
listen to them call, the angel’s symphony is beckoning
and it reminds me of the light that i know lives inside of me
but i lose sight and constantly try to fight and sometimes flee
but all the running and the shunning’s unbecoming
i’m a beast
so keep your distance. persistent resistance is best
i wish i could escape all these feelings i dread
and this sickness is intent on eating my flesh
so i write it all down to keep myself in check

carry on
i didn’t mean to whine and carry on
my anxiety comes with me on my flight like carry-on
and i’m a wayward son, wings of wax, flying toward the sun
i rest my weary head in kansas
there’ll be peace here when you come, so soon come
’cause i don’t know how much more i can take
my eyes are feeling wet and weak and heavy from the weight (wait)
so much time spent looking up, can’t see in front of my face
my entire life is blessed, i’m a recipient of grace
and i’m ashamed. i’m falling asleep in the rain
but it can’t put out all the flames
they’re tearing apart everything that i love
and i know that the answers are waiting above
but it’s hard to find comfort in something unseen
when you know that you’re just imperfection, unclean
and it’s harder to live with unwavering faith
so i take it a day at a time
my mind hides. tries to find sight
my eyes cry ‘life!” i die but i’m fine
i’m blind. my eyes lie. try (to) deny light
i fly. realize i can’t defy life
and these grays become a softer shade of blue
and these days become less dark as light shines through
and these dreams become achievable and true
so i sing and it’s all because of you

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