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hell's greatest dad - hpkritical lyrics

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[hpkritical as lucifer]
haha, looks like you could use some help
from the big boss of h*ll himself
check out daddy’s glowing reviews on yelp
five stars! flawless! greater than great!
oh, with the punch of a pentagram
i wap*bam*boom, alakazam
usually, i charge a sacrificial lamb
but you get the family rate

[hpkritical as lucifer & charlie]
thanks, dad!

[hpkritical as lucifer]
who needs a busboy now that you’ve got the chef? (woah*oh*oh)
michelin*tasting menu, free à la carte
i’ll rig the game for you because i’m the ref
champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that’s just to start!

[hpkritical as alastor]
who has been here since day one?
who’s been faithful as a nun?
who makes you chuckle with an old*timey pun?
your еxecutive producer

[hpkritical as charlie]
that’s truе!
[hpkritical as alastor]
i’m your guy, your day*to*day
your chum, your steadfast hotelier
remember when i fixed that clog today?

[hpkritical as niffty]
i was stuck, thank you, sir!

[hpkritical as charlie]
oh, you!

[hpkritical as alastor]
i’m truly honored that we’ve built such a bond

[hpkritical as charlie]
aww!

[hpkritical as alastor]
you’re like the child that i wish that i had

[hpkritical as lucifer]
uh, what?

[hpkritical as alastor]
i care for you, just like a daughter i sp*wned
[hpkritical as lucifer]
hold on now!

[hpkritical as alastor]
it’s a little funny, you could almost call me dad

[instrumental break]

[hpkritical as alastor]
they say when you’re looking for assistance
it’s smart to pick the path of least resistance

[hpkritical as lucifer]
others say that in your needy hour
there’s no substitute for pure angelic power!
who just happens to also be your blood!

[hpkritical as alastor]
sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud
they say the family you choose is better

[hpkritical as lucifer]
what a bunch of losers

[hpkritical as alastor]
can you b*tt out of my song?
[hpkritical as lucifer]
your song? i started this!

[hpkritical as alastor]
i’m singing it, i’ll finish it!

[hpkritical as lucifer]
oh, you tacky piece of—

[hpkritical as mimzy]
it’s me, yes, it’s me
i know you were all waiting for me
i’m here, what a gas
took a while, but i’m present at last
it’s me, it’s me
mimzy!

[hpkritical as lucifer, spoken]
who?

- hpkritical lyrics

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