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mexican coke - howell dawdy lyrics

[chorus]
got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
my baby left me, she broke my heart and soul
and now my d*ck’s stuck in a mexican coke

[verse 1]
she didn’t even say goodbye to me
strutted out the door looking happy to leave
two days later, she’s tagged in a post
with some guy in las vegas with a ring in his nose
love’s gotta be a scam if it ends like this
“shoot your shot” they said, “you can only miss”
what if you make the shot, but you blow the game?
what if she makes you wanna leave town and change your name?
what if you wake up on thе floor, single and broke
d*ck stuck in a mexican cokе?
can’t pull your pants on ‘cos the fly won’t zip
keep bumping into stuff with your coke bottle d*ck
pulling it and pulling it, it won’t come off
could really use that coke there down at the bottom
‘cos man that sounds refreshing right about now
but i got my d*ck stuck, and it won’t come out

[chorus]
got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
my baby left me, she broke my heart and soul
and now my d*ck’s stuck in a mexican coke
got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
my baby left me, so i turned to the bottle
and now my d*ck’s stuck in a mexican coke

[verse 2]
this is not a bit, this is not a joke
i got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
it’s on there good, it’s really fixed
d*ck swelling up like a snake bit it (oh sh*t!)
tried to smash the bottle but it’s too d*mn hard
i tried to shake it off and it smacked my nards
i slammed it in a window, i slammed it in a drawer
i tied it to a doorkn*b and i slammed the door
i slammed it in a car door and i slammed it in the trunk
hit it with a bat, shot it with a b.b. gun
it’s getting hard to remain calm and flaccid
while my d*ck’s getting pickled in phosphoric acid
plus there’s still a bunch of coke down in there
the superior formula: with cane sugar
everybody’s laughing but i wanna cry
i would end it all tonight but i don’t wanna die

[chorus]
with my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
my baby left me, she broke my heart and soul
and now my d*ck’s stuck in a mexican coke
[verse 3]
this is not a bit, this is not a joke
i got my d*ck stuck in a mexican coke
i’m not kidding, i’m not playing tricks
there’s a mexican coke hanging off my d*ck
man this stinks, man this sucks
wish i could get my d*ck unstuck
it’s on there good, it’s really fixed
hanging out my pants ‘cos i can’t get them zipped
i’ve tried b*tter and i’ve tried soap
but i can’t get my d*ck out of this mexican coke
pulling it up, pulling it down
shake it back and forth and spinning it around
i put it in a vice, i hit it with a wrench
i might never see my d*ck again
that’s it, i’m finished, it’s time to go
got my d*mn d*ck stuck in a mexican coke

[outro]
should i call the doctor?
should i phone a friend?
should i just wait, see if it falls off of me when it gets cold again?
should i call the doctor?
should i call the doctor?
(should i call a doctor?)

- howell dawdy lyrics

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