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couldn't have no funeral - howell dawdy lyrics

never knew what my papa did
when i was a child, you see
mama called him an extra
i guess ’cause he didn’t spend much time with her or me

so she watched her stories
and i watched the glorious conan the barbarian
conan was strong, and he taught me right from wrong
he taught me how to be a man

’til late one night i saw the truth in the glow
of a fl!ckerin’ tv screen
i’d rented a video that terminated
all of the lies i’d been livin’

papa shone so bright in his police uniform
working late at night, as i now know was his norm
conan had on shades and a black leathеr jacket
and he burst into the station making all kinds of rackеt
oh why’d you do it conan?
why’d you shoot my pa?
he was just doing his job
as a man of the law

oh why’d you do it conan?
why’d you shoot my pa to death?
couldn’t have no funeral
your big ol’ gun left no piece of him to lay to rest

well i took that tape to mama
shouting, “why’d you hide the truth?
why’d you say papa packed all his things up
and left you for hollywood?”
she said “hush now child, be quiet
can’t you see j.r.’s been shot?”
but i could tell from her tears and her discarded beers
the truth was just too hard to quaff

so i went back on down to that old tv screen
and i said my last goodbyes
to my leading man and conan the villain
and a life of listening to lies

papa shone so bright in his police uniform
working late at night, as i now know was his norm
conan had on shades and a black leather jacket
and he burst into the station making all kinds of racket
oh why’d you do it conan?
why’d you shoot my pa?
he was just doing his job
as a man of the law

oh why’d you do it conan?
why’d you shoot my pa to death?
couldn’t have no funeral
your big ol’ gun left no piece of him to lay to rest

why’d you do it conan?
why’d you point your gun and shoot?
why’d you make papa spill his coffee
as you blew several holes right through him?

why’d you do it conan?
why’d you say you would be back?
without mentioning you’d be shotgunning
everyone to death in a attack

oh why’d you do it conan?
why’d you shoot my paw to death?
couldn’t have no funeral
your big ol’ gun left no piece of him to lay to rest

take me home, y’all!
should’ve known better than to trust a barbarian
not even sure what that means
you from* are you from bar* barbar* barbaria? ba* barbara?
are you from barbra streis*land?
is that where you got that metal skeleton?
sorry i was* was probably an unnecessary dig on people with metal skeletons
in fact i’d like to take this moment to say that i don’t condone any kind of hatred towards anybody with uh, any color of skin or, s*xual orientation or, if you’ve got a metal skeleton or, red laser eyes
you know what, we’re fine
as long as you didn’t shoot my dad in the chest with a shotgun

- howell dawdy lyrics

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