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king john vs. the barons - horrible histories lyrics

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[pope]
barons, hit it!

[baron 1]
w*w*where to start? which part?
we’ve got so many grievances we could fill a cart!

[baron 2]
let’s start with some facts
like tax!
they’re so heavy
that they’re gonna break our backs!
[baron 3]
we can’t pay! there’s no chance!
we lost all our money when you lost france!
the northern bit, anyway!

[pope]
your majesty, you got p*wned!
drop some beats, player!

[king john]
i’m confused!
is this real?
i thought i was the king!
i’m holding his seal!
kneel to the king
i’ll see you grovel in the grime!
i’ll tax what i like
i’ll even tax this rimе!

[baron 1]
barons, don’t grovel!
tume to get rеal!
listen to me, dawg
or you’re gonna feel some steel!

[baron 2]
this charter’s tight!
we don’t need to fight!
just hit it with your seal and give us our rights!
[pope]
some serious points!

[baron 2]
i ain’t finished!
we want a council to represent which people
we want a free church with a free steeple
we want you to stop stealing our sons
and holding them hostage
like you have done!

[baron 1]
there’s vital stuff here that you’ve gotta give us
there’s so some stuff about fishing in the rivers

[baron 3]
so stop!
read what we plead!
agree the deed
in runnymede!
do what we ask
or we’re gonna make you bleed!

[king john]
(yawn) yeah
i see what you saying
if i don’t tread carefully
then my my life will be claimed
so tell me what to do
you’re the boss!
but we’ll have to do this later
‘cos i’m taking up the cross!
[pope]
interesting development! i wonder*
i’ll shut up

[baron 1]
hang on a minute
you must think we’re barmy!
while you’re talking here
you’re hiring up an army!
so how about this?
let’s barter:

[all barons]
we’ll stay loyal
if you agree to magna carta!

[baron 1]
boom!

[barons 2 & 3]
oh!

[king john]
whatever, dawg
i’ll agree your sk*nky scroll
i’m tired of this game
and it’s time for me to roll!
i won’t bother
and don’t fool me with sorrow
no one will even remember this tommorrow!
plus i’m beasties with the pope
and he’ll ignore this thing!
we’ll do this my way cos i’m john and i’m the king!
boom!

[barons]
oh!

[baron 2]
man, this king is fat!

[king john]
harsh!

- horrible histories lyrics

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