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empress of india - horrible histories lyrics

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[queen victoria (hadland)]
it’s good to be boss and queen victoria
but what if all the world’s other leaders ignore ya?
rule the world’s biggest empire
but who does that impress
when even my own subjects
don’t know me as empress?

sort it, disraeli, you’re pm in charge

[benjamin disraeli (farnaby)]
i suppose if i had to i could tie it to the raj
the plan, your highness, prevent your sense of injure
i hereby name you empress of india

[victoria]
empress of india
that’ll do me
queen of the ganges
ruler of karachi
mother of madras
commander of kashmir
all i say is
i, i, i, i, i’m staying here

the vast land of india is all very well
but there’s no place like home, i prefer its smell

[disraeli]
don’t you love bombay spices
and the jewels of hyderabad?

[victoria]
they are shipped to england
go fetch them, i’ve been mad

that indian famine’s no fun for a newcomer
prefer the isle of wight for my indian summer

[disraeli]
calcutta’s very nice

[victoria]
with that i have no quarrel
frankly, benji, bread’s b-ttered better in balmoral

empress of india

[disraeli]
t-tle sounds good

[victoria]
don’t want to go there

[disraeli]
maybe you should

[victoria]
mysore, not sure
won’t go to gujarati

[disraeli]
that’s a shame
there-ere-ere-ere-ere’s a fabulous party

bagpipers played tunes beyond compare (hey!)

[victoria]
viceroy announced with guns fired in the air (hey!)
the raj has jumped, gave the elephants a scare (hey!)
stampeded, k!lling natives, most unfair (hey!)

[disraeli]
but the party didn’t stop for a bit of blood and gore (hey!)
thousands of leaders feast a week or more (hey!)
the biggest bally party you ever did see (hey!)

[victoria]
there’s only one thing that’s missing: me!

empress of india
nothing would be finer
own armfuls of africa
and chunks of china
queen of the world
apart from paris and rome

[disraeli]
can’t take her anywhere

[victoria]
i, i, i, i, i’m staying home

- horrible histories lyrics

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