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amber (story of perseverance) - hornet's daughter lyrics

amber (story of perseverance) lyrics
[verse 1]
plugged my songs on your radio and cried all the way home
then you sat in the parking lot, waiting for the car to get cold
when you get through the door our eyes meet
when you get through the door you hear b*tching
an eye roll to show you that he cares

turned off the radio, a migraine that’ll make you wanna throw up
on the way to work you think more about how you grew up
and your brother didn’t always see you
and your brother might be in the icu
all you hope for is that your daughter will show up

[chorus]
can you tell me with honesty
that you are really happy
are you sticking it out for us?
are you sticking it out for us?
of course i’m glad you’rе here and haven’t disappеared
but it’s painful to see you in pain

[verse 2]
there’s this song that i play, and you don’t like when i play it
cause it reminds you of a time when you felt like i did a few years ago
few years ago
there’s this song that i hear that i have to turn off
it’s always too personal and feels like i’m talking to a mirror
but it’s someone else singing, and no matter what the time
i relive the horrors of my mind
is that how you feel?
i know that’s how you feel
once i heard the second most painful thing you’ve been through
was taking the exit while i had to stay in the hospital
and i’m sorry for screaming and making it worse
you know it was best, and i did too
so i’m sorry i made it more painful for you
i didn’t want you to have to see me when you left
but i know you turned around, you had to
i was too loud to miss, i was hysterical

[verse 3]
and the first most painful thing you had to endure
was watching your newborn daughter, my sister
be torn to shreds by an iv, something she couldn’t understand
she didn’t know why she was put through that pain
and you just had to trust she was in good hands
and the only thing higher on the list of your life’s most painful moments
the only thing that beat the situations i put us in
and you’ve been abused, and nearly homeless
and watched your father decay and be dead and alive
and there’s so many things i wanna say, but i can only apologize
because you were the only thing that kept me up at night
and by up i mean living, and by night i mean life

and yes, i know it’s not my fault
and i know that’d you’d say
“that’s what mothers are for”, but i don’t care who you are to me
i would never want you to see, my scratching at the walls like that
and i know i couldn’t help it, and i know you don’t care if it hurt you
but godd*mnit i hate all the sh*t i put you through
so thanks for sticking around, and sticking it out
and persevering regardless of doubt
i love you, and that will never change, i know you hate to see yourself in me
cause you’ve done this sh*t too
so thank you

[chorus]
can you tell me with honesty
that you are really happy
are you sticking it out for us?
are you sticking it out for us?
of course i’m glad you’re here and you haven’t disappeared
but it’s painful to see you in pain

- hornets daughter lyrics

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