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ghost hunter - home of phobia lyrics

[intro]
show up to the house
spirit box in hand
i must fulfill my vow
gonna hunt the d*mned
holy water just to douse
on the porch i stand
i clear away my doubts
and enter like planned

[verse 1]
cobwebs cover the furniture
if there’s a ghost, i’ll be turnin’ her
my expertise concernin’ her
from this house i’ll be spurnin’ her
aftermath of a murderer
or unhinged cultist worshippers
but whatever the reason for
this haunting, i’ll unburden her

[chorus]
i’m the best ghost hunter
in all thе land
got an emf detector
blinkin’ red in my hand
in thе month of october
i’m in high demand
but the rest of the year
i work part*time at home depot
home depot…

[verse 2]
i extend my arm
holdin’ out a cross
there’s a cold spot in the room
and it’s covered in frost
i inhale deeply
and i gather my thoughts
i start chantin’ in latin
hopin’ this spirit withdraws

um, ghostus…
f*ck offus

[verse 3]
the windows shatter
the floorboards creak
this ghost must be
one h*ll of a freak
its ectoplasm
squirts all over me
it gets in my mouth
and it tastes unique
a ghost appears
my future looks bleak
it points at me
and it lets out a shriek
out of my bladder
my urine leaks
but i keep my composure
don’t wanna seem weak
grab my spray bottle
full of holy water
i’m ready for a battle
though i might get slaughtered
she’s coming at me
like a crazy marauder
i’m thinkin’ to myself
“i wish i’d never sought her”
i know i’ll die here
if i even falter
but as she draws closer
something stops her
looks a bit closer
then she says
“thought you were someone else
that’s my f*ckin’ fault, sir”

[chorus]
i’m the best ghost hunter
in all the land
got an emf detector
blinkin’ red in my hand
in the month of october
i’m in high demand
but the rest of the year
i work part*time at home depot

- home of phobia lyrics

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