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to fall asleep - holding absence lyrics

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[intro]
bittersweet remedy – heal me
i’ve tried to be everything you need of me

[verse 1]
i’m not holding my breath, i know that ruin merely rests
i can feel it pressed against my chest
like a virus, i’ve tried to find us, a way out of this hole
with my hands pressed against my nose
i’m trying to be holy, but i still don’t feel whole
i’m trying to be holy, but i still don’t feel whole

[chorus]
can’t you see that it’s haunting me, every night when i try to sleep?
i’m so weak
burdened by the epiphany that misery’s periphery won’t let me be

[verse 2]
the gr-ss is always greener when you live in black and white
i try to close my eyes, imagine everything’s alright
but honey like an arrow, sewn into a quiver
it’s in my marrow, it’s in my liver
you watch me wilt away like a flower without rain
there’s nothing you can do, honey, please just look away

i am nailed to this cross, and i must carry it alone
i’d ask you to hold my hands but they’re worn to the bone

[chorus]
can’t you see that it’s haunting me, every night when i try to sleep?
i’m so weak
burdened by the epiphany
that misery’s periphery won’t let me be

[bridge]
bittersweet remedy – leave me

its shadow follows me
i try to fall asleep

[outro]
fall asleep
i try to fall asleep

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