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karen of the bells - holderness family lyrics

[intro]
okay, oh! it’s really loud, can you bring it down?
dow*down? no, no, more up? up* what* y’know, forget it

[verse 1]
karen’s my name, this holiday
i’m here to say you’re wrong today
yes, i am here, bringing bad cheer
music’s too loud, i hate the crowd
this smells like pine, i need some wine
look, santa’s there! that’s a tacky chair
touch my kids, you better wash your hands first
that’s why i brought my own sanitizer

[interlude]
oh, gosh
so filthy, and this song is so fast!
oh, and now you change the key, great
well, i guess it’s harder now

[verse 2]
this santa train line is insane
somebody skipped, i noticed it
hate that the most, i make a post
big purple thing, white lettering
“to thе person that just cut in front of us
you are why the tеrrorists all hate us”
[verse 3]
gala this year, i volunteered
i kicked out marge, now i’m in charge
i email you, say what to do
my email is so aggressive
“can’t your business donate to the auction?
guess that you don’t care about the children”

[interlude]
seriously, phyllis
you have that nice beach house you could loan us for the silent auction but you’re being stingy, you don’t wanna get your sofa dirty

[verse 4]
cookie exchange, look at my range
all made from scratch, love in each batch
look what you brought, is that store bought?
how much you paid? mine is homemade
this chardonnay’s too b*ttery
don’t wanna pay, is this your first day?!
hang on a sec, get separate checks
don’t get all mad, split all the apps
and don’t charge me for my share of pitas
they were soggy so i didn’t eat them

[interlude]
ugh!
last verse!
[verse 5]
coupon i get, 50 percent
load up my cart with cr*ppy art
she’s so inept, she won’t accept
says it’s expired, she should be fired
and don’t forget, save every bit
of this paper here for next year
white elephant, in it to win
don’t take my vase, i’ll punch your face
time to do a bunch of facebook comments
“why do you support the war on christmas?”
you did not comment on my manger
i would like to speak to the manager

[outro]
ding*dong, ding*dong, that was my song
to young and old, i am so bold
you are so wrong, you are so wrong
you are so wrong, you are so wrong

- holderness family lyrics

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