four white walls - hodera lyrics
if i woke up today with no memory of the last decade
what would i think?
what would i say?
i’m afraid i can’t get back
can’t get back where we started
it’s too late
i’m too far gone
i’ve lost so much of myself
drunk and stoned in my bed
and in my head i think
how’d i get, how’d i get here?
between four white walls
everything i thought was going okay
turned out to fall to pieces again
repeating the cycles makes me
fear that i can’t change a thing
what’s all of this for? what’s all of this for?
what’s all of this for? what am i doing?
what am i doing here?
drunk on wine alone at 2am
i got be up soon to go to work again
i think i’ve lost my mind
these days i can’t stay sane
unless i’m f-cked up or i double up my meds
i’m trying to keep control
i’m trying keep my cool
i’m running out of hope i need a miracle
he said i just need faith
he said i’ll find the strength
he said just go to sleep
tomorrow will be okay
but when i go to sleep at the end of the day
not as the person i was but just his hollow frame
i can’t just wake up and hope things will be okay
i’ve done that for so long
look where it’s gotten me
the moments of relief few and farther between
everywhere that i go i’m right back where i’ve been
and if my head got straight
oh who knows where i’d be
i’m choking at the thought i’m my worst enemy
what will become of me?
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