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ralsei vs. niko - heyyitskris lyrics

[intro]
inside joke rap battles: season 3
niko
vs
ralsei
begin!

[verse 1: ralsei]
howdy there, niko, i’d like to welcome you to my castle town
i’ll pacify your child brain as we train you up in my rap grounds
i’m a pacifist, so i’ll try my best not to keep you down
but because of the rules of this contest, i guess verbally we’ll go pound for pound
even though you’re carrying a light, you’re as dense as a darkner
but good thing, as my prophecy rings, we need both to be balanced or
calamity will rise and wipe all of existence out
but you’d probably take that chance, given for mama’s pancakes, you could k!ll a whole world! (ouch!)
you’re just a silly kitty cat
you don’t hold any prophecy status
all your puzzles are wack
nothing but 4th wall breaks
i’m not ecstatic

[verse 2: niko]
hi, it’s me niko, and don’t talk about my mama like that!
or else i will get really, really, really, really mad!
you’re just asriel put through a random undertale au generator
with all that wait between chapters, your relevancy said “buh*bye, see ya later!”
i was so good in 2014, 2 years later, i gave my fans an encore!
4 years later, fans want your hat back, and you keep mucking up the lore
a generic “oh, so silly!” with no actual thought put in
you should be ashamed, ‘cause an 8 year old just stole your win
[verse 3: ralsei and the announcer]
wait, hold on, i’m getting a phone call from kris!
what’s that kris? you wanna come give me a kiss*
oh* oh my god kris!
i*
for cuteness reasons, we shall not show the wholesome interaction between kris and ralsei
just know it was very cute and wholesome in every way possible

[verse 4: niko]
you know what, that’s it!
no one is here, so i’m gonna do it!
i’m gonna say… the f word!
freak*

[interlude, spoken: the jester]
hey!
it’s me, the jester from hit game tower heroes!
yeah, yeah, yeah, baby!
i’m the jester, yeahhhh!
anyways i’m spinnin’ my wheel and you two g*y boys*
i mean g*y boy and gender neutral child are gonna have a new opponent
hahahahahaha!

[verse 5: julius caesar]
look at all of these degenerates…
the west has not fallen but still, billions shall rhyme
i was k!lled by my friends but you’re all out of line
i’m gonna f*ck you over more than i did cleopatra!
niko, i’ll slay your sun out on the battlefield!
my legions stay allegiant, rome will never fall under my rule
kris went and did snowgrave, ralsei, you’re just a p*wn to skip school
all of you pacifists are worthless, nothing but useless eaters
i’m the greatest general in history, gaius julius caesar
rome ruled the mediterranean for most human history
you cannot beat me;
veni, vidi, vici

- heyyitskris lyrics

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