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god in this chili's - helltown (ca) lyrics

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here i am making dinner at eleven pm again
spend my nights wide awake and my mornings sleeping in
how do i find the right words, cowardice has run it’s course
i said all my prayers but i can’t help but feel remorse

maybe god would answer if i showed penance and kneel
but i know he’s not out there it’s in the silence i feel

now there’s three men in the corner
all eyes are on me
“i feel god in this chili’s”
she’s saying on tv

hiding bags under my eyes
and a stash of fitting clothes
i just want to feel pretty
i want to feel less alone

my mother says she loves me
my father i don’t know
we haven’t spoken in months
i hope he’s well and lets it go

i’m painting my eyes
i’m running red over these lips
i haven’t felt like myself
until i shed this skin

like a snake in the garden…

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