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november 26 - helios (rap) lyrics

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verse 1

spill some red wine for the loss of innocence
as i pen a rhyme to myself in a sense
watch the blood trickle down as i write to the past tense
shedding some depth on the enigma of the masked self
before the minute praise, before being on stage
fueled my dreams, before i changed my name
i was a li’l shorter, wishin’ that i was a li’l taller
clearasil tubes lined my sink – why i even bothered…
on the wrong side of fourteen, still as smart back then
as stamped on my test, algebra 2 was the best
cause i wasn’t just ‘good’ at it, the pretty girls knew it too
would even talk to me at school though i wasn’t cool
cause it was through those gl-sses that we all looked
superficial lenses; i was misunderstood
i asked the girl you all know as lorraine out
and got shot down so looking for a way out
i figured: she hangs with these basketball kids
bullies and thieves but with athletic sk!lls
so maybe if i…played like them
maybe just maybe, she would like me then

chorus

i saw you, i saw you, comin’ back to me

verse 2

or so i thought..
loosening my tie before the bus would stop
run and run, ball was on my mind
past the door, dribble from behind
back-p-sses to the wall cause there were no other guys
who wanted to play, workin’ on my size
lots of bad days, november 26 came and went
tryouts from 10 to 6, maybe it wasn’t meant
to be that year, i shed my tears
swallowed my pride, did stats that year
didn’t spend that whole summer in argentina playing soccer
i balled till i fell, word to my mother
so deep my hunger, all this had to count for something right?!
shooting hoops all day, but i forgot one thing like
the hunger that so fueled my dreams
was peppered distinctly with fear
fear that i wouldn’t make the team
fear that they would see a tear
travel down my cheek at their cheek
bullies and thieves with exceptional sk!lls
no longer my friends, cause i didn’t deem them fit
but guys lorraine spent her time, who she was wit’

chorus

bridge

you can’t stay and live my way
scatter my love like leaves in the wind
you always say you won’t go away
but i know what it always has been, it always has been

a transparent dream beneath an occasional sigh
most of the time i just let it go by
now i wish it hadn’t begun

verse 3

no
wanted to cry that day when i heard the news
walkin’ back to the car, thinking of an excuse
on why he refused, after all the work
my legs were sore, still no reward?
how do i go to school on monday
with this much cr-p from sunday?
they should call it ‘cut-day’
pinot noir for the wordplay
i told them i’d make varsity and they laughed in my face
abba, abba, why should i face this disgrace?

and…this is where i’ll stop
there’s a spill on the floor, i need a mop
to wipe it off, i haven’t touched a ball
since junior year and my jordans have been making calls
so i’mma pick up my shoes and go outside
and play ball or maybe not
because the point is, now it’s up to me…
i’m finally free

and for the high-school kids
please, promise me this:
that if fools come through, swingin’ for hits
that you’ll put up your fists
turn the other cheek, but please take no sh-t
there are some b-st-rds out there…
but don’t worry, we’ll have the last laugh at them

i’m still in the same spot where i recorded ball kronikles…
different mic, different computer but still
i present ball kronikles part two

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