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dirtier old clockwork - heath lyrics

[skit]
mmm. today we’re going to try out my new water bed
water bed, water bed! that’s cool, that’s cool. she’s gonna love it
hey, who’s that f*cker coming over here on my porch?
hi
h*llo?
who are thou?
i’m heath!
oh, you’re that silly rapper guy. my name is macgyver
hmm, i think i’ve heard about you!
ain’t you that guy from the bible?

[intro]
it’s heath!
showing love to all the clockmakers
tick*tock, tick*tock, tick*tock!
[verse 1]
heath was born in a crop circle
the blood pool around me was purple
for nine months, i was a bum passenger
so no wonder my birth was a massacre
since thеn, dope sh*t i’ve been giving
i punch cougars in the facе for a living
wall street investors take my hints serious
and commit suicides, so hideous
in the closet, i started collecting stamps
as a kid i laid sand on skate ramps, yeah
the good old days i love reminiscing
my d*ck is still in mint condition
at the prom everybody f*cked, i chose not to
on checks, i usually write down f*ck you
only speak to me when my d*ck is in my pants
before first dates, i screw off the lamps
i’m a sp*ced out dog, just like laika
at my wedding, felt like an outsider
my oiled*down skin makes me golly
telefragged mulder so i could f*ck scully

[verse 2]
tried to walk through a wall, my nose broke
tried to have oral s*x, the hoe choked
oasis wonderwall was actually ill
i k!ll fish ’cause i hate gills
went online, cl!cked on some weird links
i copy divx movies using floppy discs
i wish i was a bad man called kane
i’m the one who sold dandruff as cocaine
bill cosby is my f*cking soul mate
single in an hour, f*cking album in two days
my imaginary friend stole my money
david copperfield should cast a spell on me
so i would be a higher being
heath is known for canoeing down the gulf stream
my favorite spice girl was ginger
i got more cl!cks than a nerd with fast fingers
[verse 3]
one day my dad played hide and seek sober
he’s still searching so we ain’t over
the pot of gold turned out to be plastic
my words of wisdom are everlasting
i’m the white mannie fresh
one of my fairy*f*cks is lucy lawless
h*ll, i can’t understand the fact
that my tortoise won’t chill on his back
my innocent days are long gone
heath is known for wearing the s*xiest long johns
my burner smokes f*gs like supermodels
socrates was g*y and so was aristotle
i give you the music, i’m so handy
i’m not the hunter, i’m the drunken bambi
i rap for a living, it’s all about bucks
at school christmas play i was a rock

- heath lyrics

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