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lucky me - heath mcnease lyrics

flowers in the dark
ain’t gonna ever bloom
crying by myself in an empty room
wondering why i let you go
wondering why i let you go

i paid someone to tell me something’s wrong with me
he takes my money, nothing changes when i leave
wonder why i still go
i wonder why i still go

i had the same nightmare that i always do
my family’s praying for me in the waiting room
doctor says i fought hard to stay
but he couldn’t bring me back
then i wake up disappointed that it’s not real
cause if he couldn’t bring me back
i would feel the beating of this f**ed up heart
and all the pain attached
peace at last

i dreamed that my soul rose
i dreamed that my soul rose
and i didn’t have to hurt no more
i didn’t have to hurt no more
i dreamed that my soul rose
i dreamed that my soul rose
there was no one left to hurt no more
there was no one left to hurt no more
lucky me, lucky me

i don’t forgive, i don’t forget
i don’t move on, i just relive
i don’t relax, i just reload
i don’t recover, i reap what i sow
i don’t get better or smarter with time
i stall in the process and fall out of line
everyone tells me it’s all in my mind
but i see the shadows get larger in size

i’m so good at saying bye i don’t even say it
i got some bad habits and i need to break em
i tell myself that i gotta change em
take charge of my selfish behavior
that’s the truth, i don’t want to face it
i’m so good at saying bye i don’t even say it
but she can’t say bye so she waiting
i say it’s naive and she call it patience
i’m so good at saying no it sound like maybe
that’s why i ain’t been around lately
i say yes too much and now my body hates me
i feel like it’s starting to betray me
she so bad at letting go she tried to save me
i say it’s naive she calls me angry
i feel her heart breaking
but i’m so good at saying bye i don’t even say it
i’m so good at saying bye i don’t even have to
been there done that, got the tattoo
it’s only love when there’s someone to give it back to
i’m so good at saying bye i don’t even have to
life goes on within you without you
it breaks every border and thrives in a vacuum
and everything here will outlast you
i’m so good at saying bye i don’t * i don’t *

i don’t think you get it yet
[?] the voice in my head
i wish you would disconnect
and just walk away instead
and leave me to my devices
i’m so good at saying bye it’s frightening
i’m so good at watching life pass by my eyes in silence
and justifying the cycle i’m in

no man’s an island
but my mind’s a prison cell inside an island
they built it and hid it well
i can’t really tell if the water i drink’s from the wishing well
or from the pits of h*ll
either way i’m accustomed to the taste
fake smile while i suffer through the days
different words but there’s nothing new to say
to the ghosts of the loved ones you replaced
was it real, did you just hallucinate?
did you cry when the summer [?] came?
frozen hues of ice cold blue and gray
warmth is scarce and tougher to replace
i chose s*x and l*st to fuel the flame
ruined my name in a multitude of ways
i tried so d*mn hard to recover
but this work that i’ve done ain’t a substitute for grace
and there’s nothing new to take
i stay crooked, adjust to move the frame
i’m the portrait you erase
but i’m so good at saying bye that there’s nothing new to say
i think i see something through the haze
or did my mind make the void assume the shape
of a savior just and true and safe
unlucky me, there’s no substance to my faith

i dreamed that my soul rose
i dreamed that my soul rose
and i didn’t have to hurt no more
i didn’t have to hurt no more

i dreamed that my soul rose
i dreamed that my soul rose
there was no one left to hurt no more
there was no one left to hurt no more
lucky me, lucky me

- heath mcnease lyrics

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