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john farnham the musical - hamish & andy lyrics

[a:] “mamma mia!”, starring meryl streep, pierce brosnan is taking the world by storm at the moment
[h:] basically, the storyline links together a lot of abba’s most famous songs. whilst there is a lovely storyline, you cannot help but think when you watch it: “i think they’ve done this particular bit of the story just to squeeze in one of abba’s songs, right.”
[a:] why are you guys mixing “dancing queen” so*
[both:] oh, i get it, you wanted to do the song
[h:] okay, so we thought we’d take the concept of grabbing a whole lot of famous songs by an artist
[a:] in this case, john farnham
[h:] and linking it together with a storyline which, look, may not be the most plausible storyline but at least, it links the songs together
[a:] and because it links the songs, i don‘t think anyone will notice

[announcer:] burn for you, a musical movie based on the songs of john farnham
the hero of this tale is jason…
[jason:] h*llo
[announcer:] …who works at a westfield shopping centre at pets’ paradise
[jason:] just a touch of, touch of paradise with some pets thrown in
just a touch of, touch of paradise
cats and dogs and budgies and little belgian noodles
[announcer:] but one day, jason heard over the shopping centre pa system a message of love
[pa system guy:] attention jason! your true love awaits you, she can be found in [illegible]
[jason:] what was that? oh mate, sorry i didn’t understand the end. hey, are you the pa system guy?
[pa system guy:] yes! what did you just say?
[jason:] i can’t remember, but…
you’re the voice, try and understand it
make an announcement and make it clear, oh, woah

[announcer:] jason turned to his much older boss, and said:
[jason:] i’ve gotta chase my true love
[jason’s boss:] no you don’t. remember, i’m older and far more reasonable
[jason:] what about the age of reason? which is my age

[announcer:] but jason didn’t care, and stormed out of the shop, straight pass the cleaning lady
[“sadie (the cleaning lady)” by john farnham plays in background]
[jason:] oh, g’day sadie!
[sadie:] hi, jason! i can feel a song coming on!
[jason:] nah, sorry i’ve just been doing a few songs in a row, they’ve got a bit of a sore throat. thanks sadie, keep cleaning!

[announcer:] across a shopping centre, jason storms past a toy store with such speed that it knocked over a domino. which in turns knocked into another, and another, and then knocked over a link
[jason:] one link in a chain reaction!

[announcer:] jason shrugged forth towards his true love, and came across a irish bloke…
[irish bloke:] h*llo there!
[announcer:] …playing the card game bridge, who had information with regards to his true love, but made jason play cards for it
[irish bloke:] well son, can you beat this? i’ve got two fairly weak clubs
[jason:] oh yeah, we’ll…
i’ve got two strong hearts, which bit’s your weak club
discursively, i yearn with glee
[irish bloke:] well done, ye matey. she’s at the top of a mountain in the middle of the desert
[jason:] that seems strange
[announcer:] it does seem strange, but jason struggled on, sweat tearing from his brow, his exhaustion was getting the better of him
[jason:] boy, these pants are restrictive
[announcer:] so he took them off
[jason:] uh, these undies are a bit restrictive too
[announcer:] that’s a bit much
[jason:] no, that’s freedom
there’s some sand on my bum, some breeze in my knees
the earth at my toes, that’s freedom

[announcer:] jason reaches his beloved, but having struggled pant*less through the heat for two days, he realises he is burnt to a crisp from the waist down
[jason:] aw, i’m burnt to a crisp from the waist down
[announcer:] i just said that, but to his delight, his lady reveals
[jason’s love:] i love a man with laughs in the face of uv protection!
[jason:] you do? well, then i…
sunburnt for you, and it is gone right through
to my bones, it really hurts

[announcer:] and they lived happily ever after
[jason’s love:] come here, big boy!
[jason:] nah, don’t touch that, it’s burnt, very sore, unless you’ve got [?] gloves on

- hamish andy lyrics

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