things you oughta know - gwar lyrics
(everybody rip everybody else off
everybody rip everybody else off
everybody rip everybody else off
everybody rip, rip everybody off!)
howdy, folks. sleazy p. martini, comin’ at ya from my c-ke-filled jacuzzi, here to talk to you about my boys. you know, those antarctic rock gods from outer sp-ce, gwar
you see, i’m here to explain exactly what this tape is that you’re listening to. that’s right, a shameless and desperate plug. and also to explain the concept of our new alb-m
“concept alb-m?” you say. i know what you’re thinking: “sleazy, we’re dull, we like the old concepts better. we don’t like change. there’s only so much originality our acne-scarred minds can handle.” well that’s just too bad, cause this concept is the truth! and you’re probably right, you can’t handle the truth. especially when it means the end of your dreams of promotion from grease scr-pper to -ssistant french fry boy. yeah, that’s right, there goes your precious “careers”
i’m talkin’ about the big one. you know, the same one that put the dinosaurs six miles under. i’m talkin’ “put your head between your thighmaster and kiss your flabby -ss goodbye” death meteor. or, as the norse might have called it, “ragnarök”
oh? you haven’t heard? i’m sorry, i keep forgetting you’re not rich and powerful like me. you see, the government is going to bury this from little t-rdlings like you, the same as the comet’s gonna bury your pathetic service industry career. luckily, there are bands like gwar around who see the futility of the situation for what it is, and who are shamelessly willing to make a quick buck while there’s still time
that’s right, gwar’s new alb-m ragnarök features 14 new tracks that reflect the essence of man’s existence on earth. in a word, short. a perfect soundtrack to your so-called lives. so get off that wallet, you know you can’t take it with ya. buy gwar’s new alb-m ragnarök. and hey, if you don’t like it, who’s gonna care in a year or so?
(buy the gwar alb-m)
(everybody rip everybody else off
everybody rip, rip everybody off!)
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