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try as much as i can - gustav lindstrom lyrics

[verse]
i’m just sitting every night on the floor in my room
thinking about how i feel and how lonely i am like the moon
i wonder why i always am in the same position every night
sometimes i even hold my breath to feel how it is to die tight
many people think that i definitely should see a therapist
but i feel this is the way to express my feelings like a lemon twist
when you look at my appearance or attitude, you for sure think i’m hardcore
but inside i’m the biggest weird and fragile person you can ignore for sure
when i’m too excited to go to a party with my friends
i get sick to my stomach of excitement but want to amend
my decision when i am in the moment but not in the end
it’s because i in the beginning feel i’m not fitting in the trend

i don’t how people can continue to be happy
i struggle with thing every day, even if i’m with some friends i feel scr*ppy
i don’t how to come out of this terrible, sad and depressing darkness
everyone are just looking at me as if i’m mentally r*t*rded
i don’t know why, how or when this whole element began
i wish i was the popular guy everyone would notice
instead i’m just lie down in my bed and writing sad poems
but i feel this is the only way of telling people how i feel
because i’m too introverted to say it and move on like a wheel

i often feel people are considering me as an awkward and lonely guy
maybe it’s because i’m an overthinker and a lot more than just a bit shy
but i don’t even know why i have a struggle with just to say hi
to a walking by stranger or just the people that know me well to my eye
now that my parents know that i last year felt suicidal
i feel like i have passed the worst like my music idols
this that’s going on right now is prolly the feeling i’ve got used to
so much that i feel i can’t be happy again
every single party i’ve been to or at
i’m always in the same position
how deep i drink from the bottle cap
it always end up with being cr*p
because how much i drink it’s wack
and then my head and body are in a crack
but i don’t know, it’s prolly my own decision

every single day in my life
i try as much as i can to be nice
to the people i like with the highest price
but it makes me always really awkward
because i overthink the way i am to people i care about
then it all just ending up with being terrible, awkward and weird
but i don’t know
i think it’s just the way i am

- gustav lindstrom lyrics

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