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your friends who get married after high school - gus johnson lyrics

[gus, sabrina, both ]

we made it through high school, thank the lord
and we kept all of our clothes on, even when we got bored
i wanna touch you b-ttcheek, but jesus said “no way”
wait a minute, high school sweetheart, there’s another card to play
our friends our getting married, it has always been our dream
i made my life’s decision at the age of 17
my brain’s not done developing for eight or nine more years
but i was feeling h-rny, so i kicked it into gear
here’s the plan: we’ll get hitched and be happy for a year
’til i realize i’ll never see another woman’s rear
i’ll bring another lady to the house we can’t afford
but i’ll cry when i get caught and ask forgiveness from the lord
my friends will start to gossip when they see us on the town
i’ll switch to wearing b-tton-ups and put on 40 pounds
i’ll leave my goals and aspirations high up on a shelf
i switch to selling herbalife and working on myself
i’m not happy, wait, i got an idea
have a baby ( didn’t work )
have another ( you’re a jerk )
have 3 babies ( we should stop )
uh, 4 babies ( i never loved you )

- gus johnson lyrics

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