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nate kukla's history of lemonade - grand buffet lyrics

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[intro]
yee-ha!

[verse 1, rap: jackson]
party people in a potentially powerful place
before the hour-hand is pointing at the eight on the clock face
we gotta gather together and ready a plan
on how to formulate a lucrative lemonade stand

in your adolescent years you had a hand-painted sign
with sloppy lettering that offered lemonade for a dime
you were a little entrepreneur, your parents thought it was cute
and all the opportunists in the neighborhood followed suit

you profited then, off of the acid of youth
but now you’re twenty-eight years old and long in the tooth
you think a lemon slice and sugar water’s gonna suffice?
you need a motto, image bravado, you got to entice

i’m no slouch i took a home economics cl-ss
so i’ll elaborate on lemonade’s ill-strious past

[verse 2, rap: jackson]
good friday the third, thirty-three a.d
the day god’s son was hammered to a lower-cased ‘t’
it wasn’t all that grim based on historical truth
’cause thirty feet away from jesus was a beverage booth

with an -ssortment of food, wine and grain ale
and ice water for the kids but the water was stale
the twelve apostles observed this dilemma, they were concerned
matthew exited the gathering and quickly returned
with a ripened bag of lemons reserved for the purpose
of treating his syphilis lesions that were starting to surface

he said, “we’ll drain these lemons for the juice and pulp
“and add it to the stagnant water for a pleasant result”

judas reached into his robe and shamefully revealed
a bottle of honey he’d stole from last night’s meal
he said “this is what jesus used to eat with his bread
“and i’d return it to the guy but he’s basically dead
“so let’s add it to the lemon and water to sweeten the mix
“and move the refreshment table closer to the crucifix.”

needless to say, they made a k!lling that day
the romans wanted the recipe and for it they handsomely payed
so everybody profited and felt refreshed…

[spoken: jared]
…but what happened to jesus?

- grand buffet lyrics

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