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cleanup dive - grace gardner lyrics

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[verse 1]
how i have to reach to find
what used to be repeating in my mind

not compelled to tell a lie though
it’s easiest to say i’m doing fine

evaded every urge to say the secrets
so i’ve [?stayed in disarray?]

shrug it off and lie to my reflection
saying it’s all going [?my way?] [radio: ?]

[chorus]
i’m learning how to put it into words
clarity will hit me like the shoulder to the face ([?at any place?])
growing up and playing in the dark
demoted from the savior to the sandbox who let a bright spark go to waste

oh i’m washing myself clean
and this torrent’s only me
underwater i can breathe
on the cleanup dive i see
all the backhands i tuned out
all the 8 tracks played too loud
paintings left at the old house
can’t find them now
i’m treading on top and the rest of the remnants will drown

[verse 2]
felt like i’d be perfect with a couple hundred changes to my body
to my face, my personality, my ways
but i’ve reconciled with everything
reflected on my history
said out loud, that none of it’s my fault

i saw someone on the overpass, and swore that it was you
drift my car onto the shoulder so i could get a better view
and it wasn’t but i couldn’t stop thinkin’ about what i’d do
but i wouldn’t rather never love than fall in love and lose

[chorus 2]
i’m learning how to put it into words
clarity will hit me like a softball to the face (at sharon’s place?)
growing up and playing in the dark
demoted from the savior to the sandbox who let a bright spark go to waste

oh i’m washing myself clean
and this torrent’s only me
underwater i can breathe
on the cleanup dive i see
(?) bedroom radio
an old (?) portfolio
should’ve called at the old house
can’t find it now
i’m treading on top and the rest of the remnants will drown

- grace gardner lyrics

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